Ashes of an Impossible Love

Ghosts

I stood stone still, unable to move, as if time had ceased to exist for me. It was as if I had suddenly seen a ghost in broad daylight, something impossible, but undeniably real. That's him, in the flesh. I felt how the world stopped around me, freezing every sound, every movement. The air suddenly became denser, almost unbreathable, as if she were submerged in water. It was hard for me to breathe, I could feel how every muscle in my body had become tense, from the tips of my fingers to the center of my chest, which was beating wildly.

I was totally out of breath, caught in a whirlwind of emotions that I did not expect, absorbed in a tangle of thoughts that oscillated dizzyingly between what was and what is. In a second, my mind made a trip back in time, going through passages of my life that I thought were forgotten. As if someone had dug up a locked chest, I relived moments that lay deep in my memory, or at least that's what I thought until that moment, when I realized that those memories had never really gone away. They were there, dormant, waiting for this precise moment to reappear with overwhelming force.

 Seeing it causes me a bewildering mixture between astonishment and confusion, a clash of emotions that crowd in an unexpected and disorderly way. I had not anticipated this meeting, much less was I prepared to face what it would provoke inside me. The surprise hits me hard, leaving me dazed, while confusion becomes entangled in my thoughts, clouding my ability to process what is happening.

This encounter catches me off guard, as if I had stumbled upon a fragment of the past that I thought I had left behind. I thought that those feelings and memories were overcome, relegated to a dark corner of my memory. However, at that precise moment I realized that this was not the case.

I have such a strange feeling, a kind of duality that places me simultaneously in the past and in the present. It's as if two versions of myself, the one before and the one now, are at the same point, trying to reconcile what was with what is now. I'm trying to understand how something so unexpected, so simple in appearance, can unleash a storm of emotions that I thought were buried. But that's life, with its unexpected turns that, when you least expect it, remind you of what was once important, even if it is no longer part of your present reality.

  Suddenly, her eyes fall on mine, suddenly snatching me out of the spiral of thoughts in which I was plunged. It is as if his gaze had a magnetic power, attracting me with an invisible but irresistible force, freeing me from the labyrinth of memories in which I had lost myself. I feel a shudder run through me from head to toe, a shock that shakes my soul, returning me to the present abruptly and vividly.

There is something in his eyes that goes beyond a simple glance. It is a subtle, but unmistakable glow, as if at that instant he was also seeing the same thing as me: a reflection of the past, a silent connection that transcends time. For a second, which feels eternal, I wonder if he also perceives that unexpected spark that is now sparking in the air between us.

 He smiles at me, and in that instant, something inside of me is activated as an automatic reflex. Without thinking, I start walking in his direction, as if an invisible force is guiding me, as if I am completely hypnotized by that smile that brings with it a surge of memories. Every step I take towards it is like stepping into a known but forgotten terrain. 

 He is wearing an impeccable black suit, with a white shirt that contrasts perfectly and a tie that adds a touch of classic elegance. There's something about the way that suit fits her body, highlighting her bearing and presence, that reminds me of a weakness I've always had. Since I was a child, men dressed in suits have fascinated me, so much so that I used to say that I would marry a man who wore suits every day, as if that image embodied all my fantasies of maturity and sophistication. And now, here he is, embodying that image with a perfection that disarms me.