The Broken Soliders

Part fourteen

Y/n

2017

AN: I know the events of Civil War were very rushed in this, but since everyone knows the movie it felt pointless to write it all down when not much of it was actually gonna change. Not to mention, the real plot of this book is gonna be after all that, since Y/n's memories have all been lost again.

"Your name is Y/n Y/l/n. You grew up with me and Bucky in Brooklyn," Steve nodded.

"My favourite colour is y/f/c," I said softly.

Steve grinned. "That's right!"

I nodded. Things were starting to come back to me. Mostly things about myself. Favourite colour, animal, things I liked to do, etc. But specific details were still blurry.

"You're really smart. You've got majors in biology and chemistry, two extra degrees in mechanics and computers. You were one of the smartest people in the country."

I nodded slowly.

Steve was doing everything he could to help me remember my life. We were staying in a small house with Barnes, and some of the other members of their team also lived nearby. They had all gotten themselves into a bit of trouble, so they had to stay quiet for a while.

"I think I want to go to sleep now," I yawned. "It's getting late."

Steve nodded, getting up. "Okay. Have a nice rest."

"You too."

He started walking out the door, when I stopped him.

"Steve?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"I— I'm really sorry I haven't made much progress..."

"No, no! Don't be sorry, Y/n. You went through a lot, and you've remembered quite a bit!"

"It's been a year," I sighed.

"Don't worry," he reassured me. "You'll get there. I promise. Just get some rest."

"Okay."

   

I look from Steve to the machine. "No! Wait! No! You are not getting in there!"

"Y/n—" Steve started.

"Don't even! I am not letting you get in that thing!"

"Y/n," Erskine said calmly. "Even you said that it's perfect. You gave it some tweaks and it's perfect. Same with the serum."

"What if something goes wrong?"

"Y/n," Erskine said again. "You know that for him to get hurt, a million things would have to go wrong. We've perfected this. You've perfected this."

I shook my head.

"Y/n," Steve said, looking up into my eyes. "I'm doing this. With or without your help."

I looked at him and sighed. "Fine. But if even one thing goes slightly sideways, I'm pulling you out. And if you're in too much pain, I'm pulling you out. And if even the smallest thing looks like it might go wrong, I'm. Pulling. You. Out."

Steve smiled a little and nodded. "Deal."

"And promise me something, Steve? Don't let this get to your head."

"I promise. I'll always be the little kid from Brooklyn."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

Steve looked at the machine.

"Are you ready?" Erskine asked.

Steve nodded.

I woke up the next morning, the dream still fresh in my mind. Only it wasn't a dream.

I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. Steve was already up, sipping his morning coffee.

Morning, Y/n," he nodded. "How did you—"

"Steve! I remember!" I yelled, jumping into his arms and giving him a tight embrace. "I remember you! And our whole lives! We're best friends! And Howard, and Peggy! Oh my god, I remember!" I was so giddy, I didn't hear Barnes come up behind me.

"You remember everything?" he asked. He looked so happy.

I turned around to face him. "Umm..." I didn't remember ever knowing him. "I still don't remember you..."

His face fell. "Doll—"

"Please don't call me that." I tried not to sound cold, but the name put me on edge.

"Y/n. What do you mean you don't remember me?"

"Buck," Steve said calmly. "Zemo said that the machine she was in specifically targeted her memory of you. I'm sure it'll come back soon. It just might take a bit more time."

Barnes looked to the ground and nodded. "I think I'm gonna head out for a bit," he said, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.

I buried my head in my hands. "I feel terrible," I moaned.

"Hey, hey," Steve said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Don't. It's okay. It's not your fault. I'm sure it'll come back eventually."

Then I remembered something else. "Oh god," I whispered. "Steve..." Tears pricked my eyes. "I killed Howard," I whispered.

And then I was sobbing uncontrollably. Steve was trying to comfort me, telling me that it wasn't me, it was the Winter Soldiers. It wasn't my fault. But I didn't believe him.

I didn't even remember Barnes as a Winter Soldier. I was always the best. But those pieces were still blurry and jumbled. I was so confused.

"You know, I actually might have an idea that might help you." Steve said one day.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... I say we get you back in a lab. Like in the good old days."

"Where would we do that?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then don't ask too many questions about where, okay?"