Both Sides Now || Jemily

[9]

I can't but see
that the sun has risen

Emily had been working with the BAU for a few weeks now.  She had spent that night drinking with JJ and shared a few phone conversations. For other team members, she still hadn't found herself talking to them over anything more than small talk. But she wished it would change over the next portion of time. She had finally settled into the job. It was part of her routine now and it came naturally to her. The directions she would receive when heading into the office, the clothes she picks out to wear for the day, and the way she chooses a seat in the rooms they discuss cases in. She may not have mastered conversations with these near strangers yet but she knew how to do her job and how to be natural at doing so.

One thing that was new to Emily was the varying levels of breaks the team received. The aim was weekends off but, once there's a case, there's a reason to delay heading home. This meant that she had been encouraged to use her few and fleeting breaks to rest. Taking it quite literally, Agent Prentiss did not answer any of her messages over the weekend break. The last thing she had used her phone for was wishing JJ good luck over the weekend, as she knew that as the communications liaison, JJ worked slightly differently from the profilers surrounding her on the team. The last conversation she had out loud was repeating a similar message to Hotch, as his role as Unit Chief also begged for extra hours in the office.

Once the agent reached home, she placed her phone safely in the top drawer in her kitchen. The kitchen was small enough that it wouldn't go missing, enough room for one person and no more; it was all the space Agent Prentiss needed. The phone laid to rest next to the cutlery, taking its bed between spoons and knives. She knew better than to completely switch the phone off. Her job was full of unpredictable turns; suspects becoming more detailed by the team's profile, another event linked to the case such as murder, anything that could help or hinder the team's investigation is a call for contact with the profilers- putting her phone on silent was a no.

The weekend break was completed with numerous hours slept catching up on the the minutes she fought sleep while working this last case. It didn't matter whether the sun was showing or not, the only thing that dictated when she would find herself laying down and testing was when she felt the need to. As much as she had grown to adore her new position at the BAU, Emily Prentiss had missed roaming around her apartment alone. She enjoyed her own space. Emily lived alone firstly out of want and only secondly due to the fact she had no one to live with. She had partners in the past but she only cared about them as people as opposed to lovers. She always just assumed that either people were better at forging the love they had in their lives or she just wasn't meant to experience it herself; her brain wasn't wired to see people in this light.

She woke up as the sun burnt its way through her curtains, creeping across the skyline and nesting at the horizon. Her eyes twitched as the light landed on her face, the fabric on her windows not sufficiently guarding her sleeping body from the beams outside. Instead, she rolled onto her side and watched the bustling of the streets outside her apartment. The time without her phone was even more peaceful than she imagined. Without disturbance, she was left with her thoughts which she hadn't been allowed to access in recent times on account of the case they were working on. Mulling over the past few weeks, there wasn't much that occurred outside of the team's missions. She finally had the chance to speak to Reid and Garcia since their awkward encounter at that bar.

She briefly explained to the two agents that she had felt overwhelmed by her status as an almost stranger. The two completely understood and, from that small interaction, she was able to start fresh with them. Aside from small talk before and after working on cases, nothing more had been said, but she felt normal like this. She wasn't craving friends as eagerly as she was craving people around her she could potentially become friends with. The sky began to blot a darker colour, indigo as the night spread outside the glass pane she was behind. A quick thought about her phone sprung to her mind and she decided to venture to the kitchen drawer. She poured water into the kettle, preparing a coffee for herself as she anticipated there would be no more sleep soon as she had lost a whole day to it.

She soaked up her possible last few seconds of freedom as she poured the water into her mug and added the coffee. Stirring the contents around as she gazed over to the drawer, she pulled on the handle, finally opening the drawer to see her phone. Free time was hard to come by so she decided to just check for messages regarding a new case. No messages from Hotch. An invite from Garcia that had since expired as her phone remained untouched for hours away from her. Another message from a team member, JJ, simply saying hi. She didn't take any note of any messages from the team that spoke of any new cases so, just as quick as she searched the phone for messages, she placed it back away and returned to enjoying the rest of her weekend off.

The coffee had time to brew in the mug that she grabbed and walked over to the biggest room in her apartment. The main room in the place was probably just as big as it was due to the lack of possessions she had. The place where the furniture could house photos of loved ones and close friends remained empty. There were no sentimental objects to remind her of past times. The contents of her lounge lay spread out and were covered in a thin layer of dust. When she initially moved in, she moved the furniture into its place and she has done nothing to alter it since. She didn't mind. Emily loved to just have her own space as just hers. Not wondering how to move stuff aside to make room for another. Sleeping on both sides of the bed. Not debating which photos to put up and which to take down in worry of offending anyone in the pictures.

She sat in the small armchair parked in the corner of the room and cradled the hot coffee in the mug. One deep breath in and letting the exhale escape as she finally looked over to the window and let herself relax again.

To my window, my world
of my home sweet prison