𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒𝐄

'fight with you'

Exhaustion pulled at each and every limb her body had to offer. Amelia had both hands full with the infirmary and training her siblings, Clarisse had made sure of that. There was worry etched into her expression whenever she caught a glimpse at the Ares girl. A weight had been placed upon her shoulders and Amelia wanted to help. She was not above begging at this point which made shame burn in her belly. So, no, she did not feel sorry for a moment when she conjured up a plan on how to change it. See, like with prophecies there was a hole in her conditions.

You can fight once you can beat me.

She had never said how. Obviously with how it was worded a simple hit to the head would be enough to 'beat her'. With how many wounds she had mended and scars she had already added to Clarisse skin and heart she didn't want to go there. Seriously injuring her was out of questions.

Amelia refused to fall that low.

Amelia refused to fall onto the level Luke had lowered himself to.

She wanted to fight. This was more than just property being damaged, it was personal. It had become personal from the moment her home was being attacked, when frightened kids sobbed in her arms and Clarisse began to recoil at touch because Amelia couldn't differentiate between hurt and unhurt flesh anymore. There was a maturity in Adrien's eyes that hadn't been there the summer before. And Jenna, poor Jenna, had shed more tears than she did over Luke. Luke who had scarred her very soul in only a few minutes. Only Adrien had gotten her to settle. Dragging himself from the infirmary to soothe the girl with the scaringly familiar features of his face. They looked so similar in the dark that sometimes when she had laid in the bed next to Adrien as he recovered, she had seen Luke instead.

Embarrassingly, she had dreamed of him too. Though she rarely remembered much. Just hands on her shoulders, a fall and sand in her mouth. Was it weird that that's the only thing she took from those dreams besides Luke's face? He had been so sickly pale that the scar on his eye stood out so red it brought back memories of the time after he got it.

Luke had nearly died then, so what was happening now?

It was rough to get herself to repeat what she had tried to make herself believe. You do no longer care about him. Amelia couldn't- no wouldn't because she did care. There wasn't an off switch for that no matter how much shame it brought her. She found herself making an offering to his father, Hermes, from time to time. To keep him safe on his travels, wherever those may take him. Even though she wanted to believe he did not deserve that, did not deserve any act of kindness after what he did. But had Amelia been any better? She had seen it, differently but she had seen it.

It all brought her back to one point. A lingering shame she could never fully shake.

It was only because some tug on her heart that almost felt like guilt that she didn't go behind Clarisse's back. Like some divine force was keeping her from stepping past a point of no return. For some reason Amelia needed it to be Clarisse who admitted to her face that she was good enough. Honestly, she had tried all the tricks in the book and the most reaction Clarisse had given her was a mere tired smile.

It wasn't as if she could go to Chiron about it in hopes he would override her very clear command, because Chiron wasn't here anymore. Everybody was on edge under the new leadership. Problems piled up with no ending in sight.

So maybe... if she just got the chance to prove her worthiness in a way that would physically hurt her friend, she would feel useful. Maybe that shame would finally be stifled. Maybe her existence wouldn't be so damn pointless.

Amelia hummed a small hymn as she strolled along the barrier. Her hand slid along it like a caress. It felt like pieces that were barely held together by invisible strings with how broken and weak it had gotten. They needed a solution, or they would get overrun by monsters sooner rather than later. For a moment she thought it hummed back under her fingers. But when she stopped and fell silent so did the vibration. A weird feeling overcame her. Eyes burned her skin, and she snapped around to find an angry Clarisse striding towards her.