On A Thread

Chapter 12

As ugly as their situation was, it could never match the beauty of when they first met. It was to them a burst of color and everything happiness. When Linda asked about their first meet Brie's chest felt easier, lighter maybe even expanded, she didn't even know about the heavy concrete that weighed on her heart, but she could breathe more better.
She looked to her husband, he was already looking at her, his blue eyes glistening with moist as he searched her face, observing it and reading into it. Her brown ones had the same sheen.
In that moment they both thought the same thing.
How did we forget.
How could they forget the sweet rain that everyone saw as a nuisance, putting up their umbrellas. The petrichor that day was so vivid, a rich earthy mix of wet soil and cold showers, the complex fragrance of of damp earth mingled with crisp rain.
The office somehow smelt sweetly like the earthy aroma of that day, not cinnamon or tension or resentment. It was painful sweetness, the kind that stretched it's confused claws across the softness of your heart and gnawed at it triggering tears that couldn't be held back.
Josh rubbed the back of Brie's hand. That was her sign that he smelt it too, he felt it too. The warmth of that day.
It was a cold day but warmth swept through her body, his smile was warm. Her eyes were.
A smile touched his lips, his scowl was long gone and now his face held a painful smile, his eyes a mix of joy and something else. "Brie captivated me" he began to say, his eyes glued to hers as he rubbed her hand up and then down. Brie leaned in, covering his hand with hers, it could barely spread across his large hands but she liked touching him. He stared at her hand on his and smiled, this time it touched his eyes. Brie smiled, tears escaped unable to be held in.
"she came to me, striking, clashing and wrecking." Josh chuckled.
Brie's laughter rang out in the room. She slapped his arm playfully. "technically." she flicked a tear from her red cheeks. "you're trying to sound cool. You clashed into me and wrecked all my books." she pointed out with an eye roll.
"maybe I couldn't see where I was going" he searched her eyes. "I was arrested by your eyes, you were in the way."
They sat silently for a few beats looking into each other's eyes. Another clash of browns and blues, a clash that hadn't happened for too long. Brie was the first to look away. "I couldn't see too." she cracked a smile.
They were flirting, they were laughing and crying at the same time and he savored every bit of emotion from his wife, from the moment. Just maybe he was thankful to the PhD lady.
She was already sat and none of them noticed. Josh didn't even hear her loud clacking steps.
"we both didn't have an umbrella despite the forecast" Josh started, again catching Brie's eyes.,
Brie furrowed her brows, "I had an umbrella though."
Her confession drew a gasp from Josh.
"you did?"
"mmhmm. But it felt too good running in the rain with you, a total stranger." she looked ahead and smiled, her thumb rubbing against his skin.
Total stranger. Josh wondered briefly about it. Had they turned to strangers too or even worse. He knew she couldn't hold his gaze like before and it hurt like hell.
There were far too many lazy mornings and late nights when they'd sat doing nothing but looking into each others eyes, sending waves of communication and emotion with just their eyes in their dimly lit room, hand grazing on each others.
"thought I was the only one."
Brie shifted in her seat till her body was completely facing him, surprise plastered on her tear streaked face. "what?" she chuckled. "no way you had an umbrella too"
"i did" he bit down on his lower lip to hide a naughty smile. "you laughed and screamed a lot while we ran and I believed I made the best decision"
Brie coughed out a laugh, "you're crazy."
"you're still as captivating as you were then, even more, you still have a clashing feral effect on my heart." After much inner contemplation he yielded and touched her cold cheeks. One of the many lances in his heart came off when he leaned into his touch.
His words cooed at her heart, her gaze softened a bit more. Her husband, her best friend had stopped telling her these things, these words she needed but she noticed something else, something foreign. Guilt.
You still throw my heart in a frenzy Joshy. You wreck my composure. She wanted to say so, to tell him that they never ever lost that chemistry, it was there on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't say it, she couldn't even look at her husband anymore. It broke her heart.
She had also stopped using her words, maybe if she had, she wouldn't have resented him so much that she couldn't hold his eyes in hers, maybe she was scared to accept that she was hurting him with no choice.
Linda hummed, her mouth curled in a lopsided grin. "good to know the attraction is still there." she split an observing stare between the two. "at least for Josh."
Brie's eyes snapped to Linda's.
"what do you think Brie?"
"about what?"
Linda smiled tightly. "did you stop using words?" she said and unfolded from her chair, taking slow steps to the photocopier. The sound of her heels was back, louder and more irritating. She drew out two sheets of pink paper and walked back.
Josh and Brie exchanged a glance.
Linda slid the paper to them. "we have to work on your words." she clicked her tongue. "think of your relationship as a little garden you both love. It needs watering and sunshine. Weeds will grow on it but if you have been giving attention to this garden you will notice it in time and nip them before they harm your beautiful plants. You don't flirt anymore, you don't nourish each other with words, you assume and that's how you let weeds take control."
Josh sat up straight, his tie was a bit more unyielding and the stupid clock was ticking too loudly. "we communicate well." he deadpanned, his frown was back, his face masked with irritation.
"then why was your wife stunned? Not even a half blush, just plain surprise. Think of a random man on a bus calling her pretty, that's the look she had on her face."
Josh glanced at Brie. Linda was right, Brie was more surprised than pleased.
"and Brie," she stood, crouched over her desk, breathing over them
Brie snapped out of her thoughts and fixed her gaze on Linda waiting for whatever she had to say. Now she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear the faults in her marriage from someone else especially when that someone else maybe correct.
"when last did you really look at your husband...?" Linda's stare was pointed. Serious.
Last weekend should count, she really looked at Josh, she saw his arousal and it matched hers.
"...and I'm not talking about sexual attraction." she pouted her lips to the side.
Oh damn! Her mind did a quick survey and she couldn't confidently point that out.
PhD lady straightened her stance, she let out a heavy breath. "first task or assignment is to both write your firsts and with a hyphen indicate the emotions you felt at each time. On the second paper, write the things you no longer feel, things your heart misses and you'll read them to each other during our next encounter."
Josh touched the pink papers in front of him. How was he supposed to summarize it all in papers. His heart missed a lot of things and he wondered if Brie felt the same.he would give anything to be in Brie's head at the moment, his wife had become a mystery to him.
Brie folded her paper and pushed it into her bag. She wanted to abscond from the place. All this time she had been her own blind spot, she thought she had no part in the issues that planted a wild bush of weed but she did. A small part of her mind both hated and loved the idea of writing, it would be a good reminisce and a blaring siren to her own faults.
"i advice you go through this with a clear mind. Don't get intoxicated with sex." she said and sauntered out of her office.
For Brie, sex was definitely off the table, not that she had the willpower to fight it, if he even does as much as touch her body, she would ignite. Her plan was to avoid anything that could lead to it, if she could. It was hard to fight what you didn't know. When it came to Brielle and Josh, anything even as little as the graze of hands and eye contact they shared during their first session could set them off. She had conviction on this one, there was no mistaking in the way Josh's eyes lingered on her lips or the way her body reacted when he touched her cheeks. The mere thought of what could have happened between them in the absence of a third party excited her.
Brie let out a small breath, a relief that this was done. Josh would probably get back to the office and forget the exercise they were assigned to do. At least he had somewhere to be, a purpose to fulfil but for Brie she didn't have any, no mission, no ambition. She was pretty sure all her friends would be very occupied. Megan was on shift in the afternoon and Anna worked round the clock as an obstetrician.
"i have business to attend to." she was the first to stand up. It was a lie. There was no business to attend to except checking out cool spots counts as a business. She always loved checking out new places and telling Josh about them and nine out of ten he took her to those places on surprise dates- when they were still Brie and Josh.
Josh caught her hand before she could slip away again. Brie looked at the gentle yet firm hold he had on her wrist, then his eyes. Her heart was running a million miles, the thump of it drowning off the little sensible voice in her head. Her anticipation heightened, her dirty mind proudly in the gutters, now was the right moment to still a kiss, he could easily pull her on to his thighs and kiss her senseless, they wouldn't be the first to leave their mark in a stranger's office right?
"will you come to the cocktail?"
Sensible voice was clearer. A tad disappointment dampened her anticipation. "I can make it work."
As if! She wouldn't miss it even if there was a hurricane.
As though he was holding his breath, he took in much needed air, a smile cracked on his lips. "I'll come and get you."
The sudden dissipation of the heat that rose to her cheeks suddenly made her break sweats, she patted her cheeks lightly. "no, I'll come to you. I'll be in town." she said and slipped away again. She was afraid he'd ask her to come home and on the frequency she was in, her brain was shut off.
He thought he could give her a ride but didn't even get the chance to offer it— a harsh reminder that Brie was running from him and it hurt like hell. He gave the stupid clock one last look and he suddenly got a feeling of urgency as though the clock was ticking against them, they were drifting apart and a strange PhD lady was able to point that out.