On A Thread

Chapter 13

She ran again.

These days, running from her husband was safe.

And painful.

The confusion of not really knowing how she felt. Sometimes she felt hopeful, they could try again, on a clean slate but the other times she hated him, how he could be so unaware, unsuspecting the pain etched in her heart, imprinted like the initials on her wedding ring, the painful echo sounded louder each time a new connection sparked between them, each time her heart swayed.

The session earlier made her realize that she might be the villain as much as she thought he was. She still thought her pain was greater, unforgettable and above all else, her own self-loathe.

Brielle hated herself since that night, how could she have been careless but that wasn’t the catch, how could she have known?
What could she have done differently?

None of it mattered when you lost a child.

All that's left is fear and guilt.

It was her fault and she hated herself for it, for her carelessness.

Her mother was right, maybe she was careless with everything.

While growing up she’d always had a free spirit, following her heart and going for what she wants. Now she was a grown woman, would’ve become a mother in the next four months but she didn’t know what she wanted, who she was or what her purpose and above all she couldn’t see her precious child.

She was supposed to come in for a check up and a 3D sonogram of their child had she been more careful.

Brie was crippled, stagnant while the rest of the world moved ahead, even Josh. Still she had no will to pursue anything.

She looked around the scanty cafe, a few walk-ins and walk-outs, the heady aroma of freshly ground coffee and nearly done baked food.

It was noon and most people were working their asses off in offices, she had time, not like she was doing anything meaningful and there wasn’t any point rushing back to the grove. She was beginning to think that she had made the worst decision going back home.

Even her hometown had their love story engraved in it.

Brie received a call from Meg while she
was still settling in, taking in the homey ambiance of the brown and cream cafe.

As always Meg made her cackle with her remarks. She had said her heels were dislocated from the day’s work, the clients for the day were difficult.

Apparently a pudgy looking man verbally abused one of the employees and he may have gotten away with it together with some toilet supplies thanks to their manager who’d rather have the customers be right even when they talked bullshit to her face.

Roxie’s only weapon was bad mouthing those horrible clients when they probably reached their houses. That life was exhausting for both Roxie and the rest of them.

The pay was good and all but buying lunch or rendering lodging incentives didn’t cut the disrespect they got.

She drifted, the  thought of Josh seeping into her mind and her effort to focus on the call was futile. If her husband ever found out about the disrespect, he would bring hell to earth.

But he didn’t know.

She didn’t communicate.

The session from earlier had been messing with her head.

Meg’s cackle drew her back into the conversation, maybe not really a convo since Brie’s mind was a mile away.

Meg had just called her lucky for taking a long break and Brie cracked a grin. Deep down it didn’t feel lucky, she regretted it a tad bit, working with rude customers could infuriate you so much that your mind would have a new problem to chew on, something distracting from your actual problems.