7 September 1995

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Dear Ced,

Today should have been your 18th birthday. I've been dreading this day for months, working on a scarf for you, imagining how proud you'd look wearing it. It was meant to be your present. I spent months on it—every stitch, every row. Mum offered to help countless times, but I insisted on doing it myself. Now, looking at it, I see the mess I've made. I should have let her help. But it's too late now, isn't it? You'll never see it, never wear it.

I don't even know why I'm holding onto it. You'll never open it, never laugh at its unevenness or tease me about my knitting skills. I can't bring myself to throw it away, though.

I hope, wherever you are, you'd still like it. I hope you'd still smile that daft smile of yours. But it's hard to picture anything without you here. I miss you more than words can say, Ceddie. Truly.

- D.W

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