Smg34 Oneshots

DuolingoxSmg4

im sorry 

-

Mario was sobbing in the bathroom after his spaghetti waifu dumped him, leaving him no choice but to eat her and she died in agony and pain

Then suddenly a light from above shone

"Jesus!1!1!1!!1!1!1" Mario yelled because they were best friends now I mean I think it's canon idk idgaf 

Jesus floated down and then kissed his red-capped bbg on the lips softly, making mr puzzles jealous from afar

as the two pulled away mario batted his long eyelashes to his lover and said "hey babe ur my #1 chick now btw"

"That's so hot" Jesus agreed and his skin turned rainbow

The two began making out again but then three burst in

they stared at each other

"erm what the sigma" three said as rainbow tears ran down his soft, delicate, flower-like, gentle-touch, febreeze, smooth, un-wrinkled, beautiful handsome skin

"It's not what it looks like" Mario said

jesus and Mario began making out even more aggressively 

Three sobbed as he sat on the disgusting grimy bathroom floor because he found out his very own discord kitten, Smg4, was cheating on him

He looked back at his sparkling gay rainbow cheerio phone and replayed the video

Four caressing a green birds chin

"Spanish or vanish, love~" charmingly said the owl

they made out

Then four sobbed "I love you"

Duolingo said "say it in Russian, German, Latin, Spanish, and 5 other fucking languages idk"

four said "idk how to do that I'm sry"

"Then you know what I have to do" Duolingo said in a seductive way

Then they began doing the devils tango sigma style

"I can't believe my discord kitten would do that to me! I thought we were a sigma and omega duo for life!" Three sobbed as he turned off his phone, Mario and Jesus getting spicy in the background

Three downloaded Duolingo on his phone and then set his username to "4ismineyoufuckingdirtyassnastywhorebitchi69edhimseveraltimesokaymaybeonlyintheigloobuturgay" and then broke his phone as two raging homosexuals ascended to literal heaven behind him leaving a whole in the ceiling I meant hole not whole idc 

three sighed and died 

Meggy broke in again, violently sobbing "HOW THW FUCKING HELL AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE EVERYTIME HEYTHEREITSARAT WRITES A STUPID FUCKING ONESHOT"

then heythereitsarat burst through the walls and tried to rizz up their bbg 

Meggy cried "why"

Heythereitsarat retorted "bbg dw, I'll be ur daddy and take good care of you"

Meggy then ran away into the sunset 

everyone's a gay bitch the end