Savage Love || An Eminem Fanfiction

Chapter 116

Blair's POV

"Marshall, I feel like we're spinning our wheels," I said, pacing the length of the living room. The frustration was suffocating, pressing down on me like a weight I couldn't shake. Every time we got close, something slipped away, leaving us stuck in the same place, exhausted and drained.

Marshall sat on the edge of the couch, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together. His usual calm intensity was frayed, and I could see it in the way his fingers tapped anxiously against his leg. "Blair, I get it. You think I'm not feelin' this too? But we can't control everything."

His words were measured, but I could hear the frustration beneath them. We'd been through this before—too many times. The surrogates we'd chosen kept ending up incompatible, and every setback felt like another blow, another reminder of everything we were trying to hold together.

"I'm just so tired of it," I admitted, my voice cracking. "It feels like we're stuck. Every time we think we're getting closer, it falls apart."

Marshall leaned back, exhaling deeply as he ran a hand over his face. "Yeah, I feel that. Every time we get close, it gets ripped away. But we can't give up. We've come too far."

"It's not just the surrogacy," I continued, the words spilling out faster. "The doctors said there's still a chance I could carry the baby. A small chance, but a chance. I can't stop thinking about it, Marshall. What if we're missing that chance?"

Marshall stood up, pacing a few steps before turning to face me. "Because that chance is slim. You heard what they said—the risk of losing the baby is high. You know that."

I could feel the desperation rising in my chest. "But what if it works? What if this time, it's different? I need to at least try. I can't live with myself if we don't."

Marshall's jaw clenched, and he stepped closer, his blue eyes filled with frustration and concern. "Blair, I understand where you're comin' from, but we both know the odds are against us. The doctors didn't sugarcoat it. And if we try again and lose the baby, we'll have to start all over—egg retrievals, hormone treatments, everything."

I swallowed hard, the memory of the last round of treatments fresh in my mind. The physical toll had been overwhelming—the bloating, the mood swings, the exhaustion. I had pushed through it, but now the thought of going through it again made my stomach churn.

"I know it was hard," I whispered. "But I'd do it again if it means we have a chance."

Marshall reached out, gently cupping my face, his thumb brushing away the tear that escaped. "Blair, I know you would. But it's not just about what you're willing to do. It's about the toll it takes on you. You haven't even had time to properly heal from what we lost. You're carrying so much, and I'm scared of what'll happen if we go through this and it doesn't work."

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I tried to blink them away. "I can't keep living in fear. What if this is our only chance? What if we miss it because we didn't try?"

Marshall sighed, pulling me into his chest. "I don't want to lose the chance either, but I also don't want to see you lose yourself in this. You've been so focused on moving forward that you haven't stopped to grieve. If this doesn't work, you'll be the one goin' through the heartbreak again."

I buried my face in his chest, his warmth wrapping around me like a protective shield. "So what do we do?"

He was quiet for a moment, holding me tightly, as if thinking through the possibilities. "We keep talkin' to the doctors. We keep lookin' for the right surrogate. But we don't rush into anything. I want us to be sure before we take that step again. You need to promise me that you'll take care of yourself first."

I nodded against his chest, my voice soft. "I promise. I'll think about everything."

Marshall kissed the top of my head, his grip on me tightening. "We'll figure this out, Blair. We're not done yet. When the time's right, we'll get there. But I need you to take care of yourself. This isn't just about the baby—it's about you."

I looked up at him, feeling the tears threaten again. "Thank you for being here through all of this."

"Where else would I be?" he said, his lips tugging into a small, reassuring smile. "We're in this together. Always."

We held each other for a long moment, the weight of everything still heavy but somehow lighter with him next to me. His warmth, his steadiness—it grounded me in a way I desperately needed.

As we stood there, I could feel Marshall's thoughts shifting. He wasn't just concerned about the toll it would take on me physically. He was thinking about the emotional fallout, the heartbreak we both feared. I could see it in his eyes—the way his mind was turning over all the possibilities, all the risks.

And while he didn't say it out loud, I knew that deep down, he was considering it. Considering whether or not this was something we could really go through again.

He pulled back slightly, his intense gaze locking onto mine. "Let me think on it, Blair. Let me talk to the doctors again. I'll weigh it all out. But we're not rushing into anything until we know for sure."

I nodded, my chest tightening with a mix of relief and uncertainty. "Okay. We'll figure it out together."

Marshall pressed his forehead to mine, his voice low and steady. "We'll get there. But we're gonna take our time. No pressure, no rush. Just us, workin' through it."

I smiled through the tears, knowing that with Marshall by my side, we would face whatever came next. Together.

For now, that was enough.