Savage Love || An Eminem Fanfiction

Chapter 58

Blair's POV

Beautiful Pain - Eminem & Sia

I sat there playing with the bottle of water marshall had given me.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I understand if you've changed your mind B"

I looked up at Denaun who sat across from me in Marshall's living room with kind eyes, Marshall sitting quietly beside me.

It was finally the day, I had gathered up all my courage and pushed down my anxiety and asked Marshall to set up a day with Denaun to talk, who was more than happy to come, share and be supportive.

"No, I want too, I just don't know where I want to start"

"I'll leave you guys alone" Marshall said giving me a kiss and standing up "I've  got a few things to finish in the studio, I'll come back soon, alright?"

I nodded as he dapped Denaun and left the living room.

"From a man's perspective, it made me feel inferior, I couldn't give my girlfriend at the time a baby"

"I feel that, as a woman, I also feel angry, sad, disappointed, jealous... the goes on"

"You have every right to feel like that" Denaun said "Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise"

"Does it stop hurting?"

"it doesn't, its always going to be there, you'll just find better way's to deal with it"

"And how do you feel about other people around you having kids?" I asked, pulling the label off my water.

"Well, it still kinda stings, the happiness and joy of people having a new baby, but you can still experience it you know, maybe not birth but everything else" He said coming and sitting next to me "You don't have to be blood-related you know, just like me and Tiara, Marshall with Whitney and Alaina, you got that niece of yours right? You can start by being a positive influence in her life"

"My sister is a flake" I sighed "She was always the party animal until she decided she wanted to be me, the fiancee, the happy white picket fence life"

"Its okay to be jealous B, be as jealous as you want"

"I'm not jealous, I feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her having a baby she's too young and dumb to have" I snorted "it's fucking unfair"

"it is unfair B"

I started to feel the anger rise in my chest as if I was about to spew out the fire.

"And Kelsey? She's having a baby and she doesn't even know who the goddamn father is, and me, it's like I'm some fucking big joke because all these people around me that are incapable of being selfless and unselfish seem to be getting fucking pregnant, and I don't even get the choice, it's not fucking fair" I started to yell, it was falling out of my mouth before I could stop it as I started standing up "I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT HARD WORKING AND KIND TO PEOPLE MY WHOLE LIFE AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN? I MEAN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

I ditched the water bottle as hard as I could then as if snapping out of it, watched in slow motion as it hit the tv screen on the wall.

"B, hey" I hear Denauns voice and jump then I felt his hand on my tense shoulder.

I sit down covering my face "Fuck"

"What the fuck was... " I hear Marshall's voice as I look up seeing him stare in confusion at his now smashed TV.

"I'm sorry, I'll buy a new one..."

"I worked her up man, I got you" Denaun said turning to me.

"Are you ok?" Marshall asked concerned.