My Side of the Story Vol. I

89.) No One Will Stay Anyway

Sometimes, all I want to do is smoke, then I try to cover the pain with all kinds of stupid jokes. But on the inside I'm seething, burning like the sun. I don't know what this feeling is, either to fight or to run. But my body feels stuck and it feels completely frozen. Then after I have to deal with my stupid heart which is now broken. It's a vicious cycle, keeping it all in and keeping on a mask. Worrying about breaking down if anyone thinks to ask. I'm so insecure and I don't want to be seen. Yet somehow I tricked everyone into thinking I'm a queen. A kind hearted princess, with nothing going on. But on the inside she's hiding and is quite forlorn. To think that she's considered royalty is quite bizarre to her. Sitting in her room just hoping life will get better. So she writes and writes to make the feelings go away. She tucks the words away knowing no one will stay anyway.