My Side of the Story Vol. I

141.) Last That Long

My mind stays overthinking, I really wish I can get it under control and get back to sleeping. So I don't have to think about what's going on in my brain. Consistently wondering when I'll see the end of this consistent pain. Pain in my heart, pain in my brain, everyone telling me it's just a storm filled with rain. "It will pass I promise" but no matter how hard I try I keep finding myself alone in the darkness. Trying my best to stay alive, wondering what will happen if I don't survive. But lives depend on me staying here, I wouldn't want anyone following me. We were all deceived into thinking death is the equivalent of setting us free. But why does it feel more like an eternal escape? Desperately trying anything to change this god forsaken landscape. Tired of the same damn trauma, sick of it all there's just so much drama. But no matter how hard I try to escape it, it always drags me back in. Everyone always finds a way to get under my skin. And I'm just supposed to take it and no one will ever assume that I'm falling apart inside. I mean what's the difference, everyone has something to hide. Bodies under the floor, secrets of the worst kind. And yet despite that everyone works so hard to make sure that you lose your mind. Blame you even if you weren't wrong. Then wonder why all of their relationships don't last that long.