Love hits hard.

22 D day is here again

Let's try this again: the second times the charm and all that. Wearing a tour t-shirt and your jean shorts, you settle into your seat at sound check. The similarities are uncanny and a little daunting. You make "friends" with the fans around you. You don't want a repeat of the last time. This time, though, you have insider knowledge, and it you kind of love it. 

When he comes out to a massive roar from the crowd, your skin tingles, your voice among the thousands. He is really beautiful and this is where he belongs. For the first three songs you actually forget you have seen him naked, that he has not only kissed you with the same mouth that he is using to rap, but he has caused you to shake and convulse with shear pleasure from that tongue too. He finally spots you in the crowd, and when he makes eye contact, you almost forget how to breathe. He smiles and moves on quickly, not wanting to draw attention. He does come back around, though. This time, he's waving to people, and you get the slightest of a wink. 

As the last few chords are played, one of the security team gets your attention. Feeling like everyone is watching you tell the fan next to you, "i can't believe this, but i need to use the wash room, i will be back." 

Taken along corridors that could lead to anywhere, you lose count of the doors you have gone through. 'This is it' you think, 'you're being taken out the back door, your being kicked out, back to reality for you'. Nope. The last door you are shown through is closed behind you. Here there is sofa, Tv, make-up mirrors and a side room. This is Yoongi's chill room. Still standing just inside the door, he walks in and pulls you over to the sofa, "i have five minutes before they start all the makeup and hair. Will you stay here while they make me into Agust D?" How can you say no.

"You were brilliant out there, and even though I'm in yet another side room, this time i don't have a fresh hole in my head." 

Those five minutes are actually an hour. He takes calls from him brothers and checks over some notes from the band. Before you know it, he is heading back out, and so are you. This time, you are on the first tier and can see very well. The atmosphere is electric, and the venue is filled to capacity. Everyone is in high spirits, there's banners, and some people have come dressed up. It really is amazing being part of this fandom, and for the next two hours, you live out your best fan life. 

By the time you make your way back to the hotel, room service has been ordered, and he's in the shower. This feels way too domesticated. 

The night is spent with him being a bundle of energy. He's bouncing around, happy to have been with the fans. "its draining, yes, but with every ounce of energy i lose from being social and performing, they give it right back, and its addictive." Once he settles, he does so on your abdomen. "Bump, I know the plan is for you to go home tomorrow, but i really like having you around. Would you consider staying with me for the time I'm in the us, please." It's time to make boundaries. You had thought you would be able to just slip off into the distance. 

"I like being with you too, but you know it's not going to be possible. Not right now. I have responsibilities and you have a tour. You need to be present for that. My grams is my life, and i need to be with her."
With the air feeling heavy, you guys head to bed. there's some cuddling and a few kisses, nothing more. It kind of feels like the bubble has burst. It takes you some time to drift off to sleep, and when you do the visions, don't let you rest. This time, it's not just swamp green and fear. It's cold and dark, and just as you wake the light you were chasing is dimmed. You wake before him and get your bags ready. Calling your grams, she doesn't pick up, and your heart does a flip. She's been on your mind, and now you feel sick. It's still early, and you don't want to think of the negatives. It's not until you are giving him a hug and final kiss that you get a voice note from her.  She's fine, and I will see you when you get home. He can see you decompressing, and he gives you that beautiful gummy smile. "See, bump, everything is ok." This kiss is filled with emotion. Together showing the other how much these few days have meant. 

Mr Lee takes you to the airport, again he doesn't speak to you except for the usual, "don't stop to talk to anyone, don't make eye contact." When you exit the car, he gives you a smile and says, "Thank you for being here with the boss. He gets lonely, and you made him smile." Dumfounded, this is a different side to him, and you almost break the rules and go to hug him. Stopping just before you reach your arms out. He shakes his head and smiles. "Maybe i will see you again."

The flight is fast and your glad to be on your way back to grams, it feels like for ever since you saw her, even though she has said she is ok, you want to check for yourself.