no one is winning

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zoning out on the train home
I stare at the blurry road
sometimes I close my eyes
trying to brush off the thoughts

breathing heavily
I wanna give this up, I think
it hurts to try harder every day
to leave you

I read the texts all over again
reminding me how I was the happiest
but also how I cried the most
when you were around

it doesn't matter
my thoughts

that night I was mad
at everything that made us apart
but I shut the thoughts
and finally told you I've missed you

I don't care
my thoughts

and God, I smiled when you said
that you missed me too

it's like a fresh air
to know that I'm not the only one struggling

for a moment I thought we had hope
but we didn't.

now what?
my thoughts

we talked it out again
running around the same old shit
only to come to the fact that
no matter how much we long for each other
it's not enough to make us one

we only fight
again and again

you wanted me to hate you
so that I don't ever have to come back to you.
but would you hate me?
so that you don't ever have to come back to me.

no, you wouldn't.
because you won't let me go
no matter how much you need to

you thought we could do this
but we couldn't
and no one wins in this
we both lose.

Thursday,
12 September 2024
22:22

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