THEIR two weeks at the island were quickly coming to an end, they had a good time exploring the other islands, doing activities like jetskiing, waterskiing, boat tours, snorkeling, water slides and visiting many restaurants. Their last night is today and here they are at the beach party that was held every Saturday.
The beach is filled with loud music and crowds, there is a fire dancing, a band and a blast drunk party.
"Do you want to drink?" Pond asked Phuwin who had his eyes fixed at the people dancing with drinks in their hands.
Pond noticed that there are girls and even boys glancing at them. It made him annoyed simply because he didn't like the way they looked at his Phu. He was used to partying before but now that he had Phuwin with him, he became suddenly sensitive.
"Yes, I want some light drinks" hesitating to leave Phuwin alone Pond walked faster towards the counter to order drinks.
He had his eyes fixed to Phuwin while waiting for his orders when he saw a man, an American man. Stand in front of Phu and give him drinks. Pond felt his eyes darkened as he saw Phuwin take the glass and drink it. Jealousy engulfed his whole system and immediately grabbed his orders and went back to the boy. He went livid, when they didn't stop talking even though he's already there.
Phuwin just glanced at him and took his drinks then back to face the foreigner. Something crushed his heart with Phuwin's attitude. Ignoring him just because he had met someone new is hurting Pond. He knew that the boy must be sick of only seeing his face and going only with him all the time.
Don't act recklessly Pond. You still don't have any rights for him.
Avoiding being consumed by jealousy, Pond emptied his glass and went back to the counter to sit and order more drinks. He didn't look back at Phuwin because he didn't want more pain. Maybe he needs to practice, controlling himself from being possessive and jealous. Phuwin's world won't only revolve around him. And he's not his boyfriend, so what right did he have to control him?
He had none.
Gulping his fifth glass of whiskey, his favorite soldier. Jim Beam Black Extra Aged one of his favorite whiskeys. He had this addiction of collecting whiskey like his older brother Metawin who is obsessed with collecting wines. They got this kind of hobby because they grew up watching their father being devoted with his love for champagne. At their old house, his father's collection was still there. Locked and private that even their mother can't touch it.
He had a strong tolerance of alcohol since he's used to drinking whiskey alone, and knowing that this liquor had 40-50 percent of alcohol gave him a high tolerance.
Tonight is his first time again to drink his beloved whiskey after what he came through. It didn't trigger him nor give him any attack but it blocks the pain in his heart by making him numb. He gulped another glass of Jim Beam and he started to dazed. His body felt hot and heavy but Pond can still manage to stand straight. Someone touched his shoulder but he cast that hand.
"Pond, you're drunk?" It's Phuwin
Pond didn't look at him maybe it's the alcohol in his body reacting. If he's not drunk, for sure he won't ignore the boy.
"You can go back to the hotel if you're already tired Phuwin"
Phu nailed at his place, hearing Pond calling him in his name and not by his endearment makes his heart twisted. His eyes were burning because of Pond's coldness. They're just good awhile ago but now he's acting like this.
"Pond let's go, you're drunk we need to rest we still have a flight tomorrow" Phuwin slightly pulled him from his chair but Pond threw his hands off his body in too much irritation. It was the first time that he felt this irritated to the boy. Unlike before when he was jealous when Phuwin got a girlfriend, he was not this mad.
"I said go back to the hotel if you want. Don't disturb me here or if you wanted to go back to that guy who you just talked to earlier then GO" Pond's voice increased that nailed Phuwin in his place.
The latter, felt his face heated with shame and pain. He turned his back to Pond and tears streams in his face. Pond regereted everything after just a second, Phuwin's sad and hurt face made him sober. Pond grabbed his hair in too much frustration.
I messed up again.
He went to the shore to calm himself and to gain his right mind. After composing himself, Pond went back to the hotel room and his beau hidding under the duvet. His heart twisted because he knew that he made the boy cried. Frustrated and blaming himself, Pond took a cold shower to punish himself. He wanted to talked to Phuwin but the boy is just crying. He can hear his sobs and cries.
And everytime he hears it, it's like a dagger that pierced his heart down to his soul.
The next morning, they prepared for their flight without any words exchange from one another. It was a total silent. Phuwin's silent treatment is killing Pond. It was his fault for being jealous and unreasonable. He should understands that Phuwin wanted to enjoy the vacation not depending on him nor always going with him. He should've act normal and didn't said those words.
He saw Phuwin's swelling eyes that the boy hide under his sunglasses. Pond wanted to be on his knee to asked his forgiveness. During the flight, Pond can't feel Phuwin's presence because the boy didn't ask nor talked to him. He slept on his sit without leaning on him. Pond wanted to smack, to punch and to whipped himself.
He drove Phuwin to his house and good thing everyone were not there to welcomed them or they will be worried because of the tension between the two. Pond called Mae who is in her work, he said that they'd arrived and he sends Phuwin home. Dunk is also not in the country because Joong brought him in Turkey to visit his parents meanwhile Gemini is on his job.
Couple of days before the class Pond tried to call Phuwin but the boy declined his calls. He thought he just needed some time so he gave him days and weeks. Mae often calling him to asked why he's not visiting them anymore, he just excused himself for being busy even though he's always wanted to go there, He's just afraid of Phuwin being tired of him nor hearing Phuwin tell him to give him some time. Every worst scenario is in his head, he's coming up with different imaginations that is painful for him.
For the last two weeks as the class started, he always message Phuwin a goodmorning and goodnight. However, he didn't received any reply but he understands it because he knew the boy is mad at him.
He felt like he was back to being his old self when it comes to Phuwin, for being stalker and watcher. For three weeks, he shadowed the boy and he always ended up hurting because he witnessed that Phuwin is happy even without him in it. It feels deja vu and abrupt. Everything luck that he had during the semester break to the summer vacation is now expiring.
Maybe Phuwin is still not yet ready for a commitment.
L.N.B
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