Slytherin equals sane

200 10 0
                                    

Sirius stared.

Harry stared back.

Sirius blinked and continued staring.

Harry blinked and continued staring back.

"Harry…"

"INSANE PSYCHOPA-mmpphh!" Harry started yelling, but he was cut off by Sirius' hand over his mouth.

"Now, now, no need to do that," Sirius said, "It's not like I'm going to kill you or anything," then Sirius noticed the colors on Harry's Hogwarts tie, "You're a SLYTHERIN!" Sirius took his hand off of Harry's mouth in surprise.

"And you're an insane psychopath…but don't worry, you're not alone…this whole world is filled with psychopaths."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you a Slytherin?"

"Oh that…Slytherin equals sane."

"Huh?" Harry rolled his eyes and explained.

Flashback

Harry didn't know why he was following the insane asylum escapes and their minder but he was.

His uncle probably paid them to take him.

And by the way his uncle had been yelling, they apparently wanted a lot of money.

"And you get 'sorted' into 'houses' in this asylum?" Harry asked.

"It's not an asylum; it's a school!" McGonagall said, "And yes. There are four houses: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Your parents were in Gryffindor."

"My parents went to this asylum?"

"It's not an asylum!" McGonagall yelled.

Dumbledore was cheerfully sucking on a lemon drop, totally oblivious to the conversation (further fueling Harry's belief that he was an escape from the insane asylum).

Harry ignored McGonagall and turned to Snape.

"And what 'house' were you in, if any at all?"

"Slytherin," Snape replied, curtly.

McGonagall regained Harry's attention and went on to tell him of famous people who came out of Hogwarts and what house they were in, and about the four Founders that the houses were named for.

Harry's interpretations of her words were a bit less than what she would have liked.

"I get it," Harry said, making McGonagall think that he finally dropped the asylum thing, "Different people get sorted into these 'houses' based on whether they're sane or not. (McGonagall's eye twitched) Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw equal insane; that's where all the nuts go.

(The twitching got worse)

Slytherin equals sane; that's where all the minders come from. Slytherin is definitely where I want to go."

The three of them turned around as they heard a strange sound.

Dumbledore was pounding on his chest, having choked on his lemon drop after hearing Harry's last sentence.

End Flashback

"So you see…Slytherin equals sane."

Sirius fainted.

Lupin entered the room, took in the fact that Sirius was on the floor with Harry standing over him, and raised an eyebrow.

"Um…" Harry had the deer in the headlights look on his face, "I didn't do it."

"Didn't do what?" Lupin asked.

"I don't know," Harry admitted, sheepishly, "But whatever it is, I didn't do it."

Insane Asylum escapees!Where stories live. Discover now