Insane Asylum escapees!

Mr Potter, What Are You Doing?

Directly After the Cup Spits Out Harry's Name

"Harry Potter!" Dumbledore yelled.

"Hmm?" Harry looked up from the newspaper in front of him. Dumbldore held a tiny piece of paper and was looking at him strangely.

"Dude, your name just came out of the cup," Blaise whispered in his ear.

"Cup, what cup?" Harry asked. Everyone but the Slytherins and the regular Hogwarts teachers (having had three years to get used to him) face faulted.

"Potter, your name came out of the cup!" Fudge exclaimed after recovering, "Hey! Are you listening - Mr. Potter, what are you doing?"

"Crossword," Harry said, before turning to Blaise. "What's a ten-letter word for 'excessive love or admiration of ones self'?"

"How the bloody hell should I know?" Blaise asked.

"Anyone?" Harry called.

"Narcissism," one of the Beauxbatons students answered.

"Really? Hey, it fits! Thank you!" 'Hmm, you know, that kind of sounds like 'Narcissa'.'

First Task

"And our fourth champion - Harry Potter!" the announcer called. Harry came out (shirtless, much to the happiness of his fangirls) with a lawn chair and a large mirror that he had borrowed from Pansy Parkinson.

Harry set the lawn chair on the grass, just inside the arena, sat in the chair, and held the mirror out in front of him.

"Uh," the announcer said, "Mr. Potter, what are you doing?"

"Sunbathing," Harry answered, before turning to the dragon and yelling, "Oi! You! Lizard-breath! You're in my sun - move it!"

"And he calls us insane?" Ginny asked of no one in particular.

A few seats over, Remus Lupin was banging his head against a book muttering "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." with every bang. Occasionally "He's gonna die. He's gonna die." was added in, as well.

"Has Mr. Potter stared believing in magic yet?" McGonnagal asked Blaise.

"Nope."

"And how does he explain the dragon?"

"Iguana on steroids."

Dumbledore choked on another lemon drop.

Second Task

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing in here?" Poppy Pomfrey asked. He was sitting on a bed in the med-tent, with a newspaper in front of him.

"Crossword. Five letter word - Blank up - meaning to screw something up."

"Fudge," Pomfrey answered.

"Yes?" Cornelius Fudge asked, hearing his name. Harry blinked.

"That's...disturbing, actually."

"Mr. Potter!" Fudge exclaimed, having just noticed him, "What are you doing?"

"Crossword."

"Aren't you going to save your treasure?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Blaise can swim better than I can."

"Oh."

"Eleven letter word, beginning with 'd' that means group of idiots or morons?"

Before anyone could answer Snape was heard outside the tent, yelling (no doubt at a group of Gryffindors), "You DUNDERHEADS!"

"Nevermind," Harry said, cheerfully.

Third Task

For the third task, the lawn chair was back, but this time he had a book.

"Mr. Potter," Fudge hissed through his teeth, "What are you doing? No, wait, let me guess - a crossword?"

"Nope - word search!"

Fudge face faulted.