Azalea The Queen

Zwelakhe

I finished collecting all my stuff and grabbed the brown leather bag from the table before yanking my car keys. I nodded at my assistant as I made my way out of the office heading for the elevator. As much as I dreaded going home, I knew I had to.

"See you tomorrow sir," Replied Somila.

"Go home, Mila," I ordered her. I got in the elevator and pressed the ground floor.

Driving inside the gates, I parked the car in the garage. I threw my head back as it slightly hit the back of the seat. I sighed, feeling drained just to be back in my own house. I don't know if it was a few minutes or more that I decided to exit the car and get inside the house.

I didn't hear or see anyone in sight, but I knew Amara was home. My wife. I took the stairs up to our room. I couldn't see her still. I ignored the feeling of irritation gnawing at the bottom of my heart. There was only one room where she could be.

I took my blazer off and yanked my tie, throwing it on the bed. I took off my shirt and was only left in a white vest tucked inside my black pants. I took my shoes off and wore a pair of slippers. As I went out of the room, I passed the nursery room Amara had made. I didn't even bother to go inside and see if she really was in there because I knew she was.

Just like every other day, she was in that damn nursery!

I went down the stairs and to the kitchen to make something for the both of us to eat. After cooking, I set the table. Just as I was about to call her, she descended the stairs. Amara was a beautiful and smart woman, kind as well.

When I met her. Now she was just a shell of the woman I had fallen in love with.

"I made dinner." I sat at the head of the table as usual.

"You said you were going to be early today, what happened?" She muttered as she crossed her arms over her chest. "How long are you going to ignore that we lost a son!?" She yelled. I could feel myself getting angry as my eyes twitched.

"Sit down and eat Amara," I commanded, but it seemed that my words fell on deaf ears. Amara scoffed, and I could feel the sound of her slippers tapping against the tile.

"Or what, are you going to ignore me just like you're doing with our son?" That's it.

I banged the table with both hands as I got up from the seat, sending it flying behind me. "I swear to God, Amara!" I glared, meeting her glare square on. "When are you going to get it through that head of yours that there was no baby, huh!?" I was trembling by the time I finished my sentence.

"Zwe-" I held my hand up and she kept quiet.

"Amara, we've been through this, baby come on. Is this what our lives have become now?" I walked towards her and held her hand in my large one. She looked down, but I put my fingers under her chin and raised her face to look at me. "There just wasn't a baby inside you. The doctor said-"

"Oh come on Zwe, every time you don't want to admit that you just don't care about our son you bring up this stupid doctor!" She yanked her hands from mine and glared at me. I sighed.

"I'm going to bed." I pushed past her as I felt a headache creeping in. I was frustrated and mostly hurt. My wife, the woman I had once loved with all my being, had turned into someone I couldn't recognize anymore.

And I hated myself even more because I couldn't do anything about it, I couldn't help her come to terms with the truth. For the whole duration of our marriage, 5 years we've tried to get a child but nothing. In these last 5 years, I've watched Amara become something I've yet to understand.

I've watched her drift away with every pregnancy test turned negative. With every passing year, she became worse. I found myself in the shower, with the water running down my body I felt my muscles relaxing a bit.

The worst part was that my emotions were jumbled up, I didn't even believe that I loved her anymore. I hated myself because I was now with her out of pity, I found myself inside a loveless marriage. Almost a year since I got intimate with my own wife.

And the worst part was that I knew I couldn't leave her.