Perfect

48. Back Together

Once again Ash was in the library and something about his sister apologizing made him realize something. That sounded so ominous, but it was true. She made him realize that it was nearing exams and the end of the year, meaning he would have to go back– back to his home and the dark lord.

Oh how he hated that man now. Because everytime he thought about doing his job he looked at this beautiful red-head that was kind and smart. She didn't have any prejudice and was strong. She was perfect to him, but he needed to hurt her.

Any thought of ever someone hurting her made him feel a fire inside. It was the same fire that he felt when he thought of someone hurting his sister or Regulus– Regulus.

He almost forgot about the boy who had the other half of his heart. How could he forget about him? He left him. He left him with this huge gaping hole and Lily was the one to fill it.

But it wasn't fair. It was never going to be fair. He was a Slytherin and she was a Gryffindor.

That's all he could think about as they sat in the library for their daily study date. He just stared at her with sad eyes, he never wanted to hurt her, but he would rather hurt her in a way that she could recover from.

She would find someone else. He was sure she could. There couldn't be a person in this school who wouldn't want her, there wasn't a way.

"Are you alright, Ash?" She questioned him, her sweet eyes somehow piercing their way into his heart.

He nodded his head and reached his arm forward, grasping her hand, "I'm sorry to say, but with exams coming up, I need to help my friends study for their owls."

Lily laughed, "you're so considerate." She pulled her hand a little out of his grasp, but just enough so that their fingers were still interlocked. "But, once exams are over, I will be right here waiting for you. Well, I might not be right here, but you get it." She gave him the most amazing smile in the world. It was so full of love and that's just where he wanted to stay, in this moment, forever.

He gulped, but kept his smile on his face, not wanting her to worry, "Yeah, of course, I've loved being here with you."

But, like he said earlier, Lily was smart, in every conceivable way. "Why does this feel like a goodbye?" Her smile faded and she ripped her hands away from his. "Asher, tell me right now what is going on?"

"I'm not good fo–"

"You don't get to decide that!" She snapped, careful only to raise her voice a little to not attract the librarian. "I decide that."

He shook his head, "no, because you don't know everything."

She scoffed and shook her head, "Because I'm a muggleborn?"

"Yes," he said bluntly and she was taken aback. Her face was full of shock and she backed up her seat. He closed his eyes, he didn't mean it to sound like that. "Lily, there are people who will be coming after you because of that and you being closer to me brings you closer to the people who will."

That brought tears to her eyes, "are you friends with Death Eaters?" She questioned quietly.

"I can't say I haven't met a few," he told her with honesty. Ash couldn't lie to her fully, he could never do that.

Lily looked away, she couldn't say that she didn't understand why. If she could prevent one of her friends– someone she loved from being hurt, she would do everything possible. Even if that meant hurting herself. Still, she crossed her arms, trying to mask her hurt expression.

Ash stood up and grabbed his bag, "I did lo–do love you, Lilian Marie Evans. I think I always will, but– I believe there's someone else who will give you everything."