Reaching the star [UNDER EDITING]

17- Regret?

Regret?

I never expected him to tell me a words like that. I was the one who asked for it. Hindi ko alam na ganito pala kasakit kapag narinig mo ang taong mahal mo na ayaw ka ng makita. I said many hurtful words to him that day. I can't blame him if he's mad.

For a week, hindi ito maalis sa isip ko. I can't even sleep at night without thinking him. Para na akong mababaliw.

Bigla akong napaidtad nang maramdaman ko ang lamig sa pisngi ko. " Are you okay?" tanong ni Yohan. Tinanggap ko ang bigay nitong ice popsicle.

"Yeah." Walang gana kong sagot habang nakatingin sa kawalan. Nasa pool side kami ng bagong bahay ni Kirby. Nagpa-house warming kasi ito at kami-kami lang ang tao ngayon.

"What's wrong? You've looked so down these past few days. You know you can talk to us, Rai. We're like families here."
Naupo ito sa tabi ko nang mapansin ang malungkot na mukha ko.

"You met him? Elias..." Tanong niya ulit nang hindi ako sumagot.

Umiling ako at natawa. I don't know if I can talk about it. Alam kong may alam na sila sa totoong relasyon ko kay Elias. Kahit ang mga kaibigan ko.
But they're trying not to cross the line.

"Is he mad?" Tanong ulit nito. Ilang minuto akong natahimik.

Tumango ako bilang sagot. I saw him nodding while looking at the pool. Bukod kay Kirby, si Yohan ang pinaka-matured mag-isip sa amin. Si Jaeki at Rafael naman ang puro kalokohan.

"You can't blame him, Rai. I don't know what happened to both of you, but I can see that both of you are hurting. You love him, right?" Matagal akong napatitig sa kanya. His dimple showed. As if he's telling me that it's okay to tell him the truth.

"Do you think what I did was right? I pushed him to leave?" Instead of answering. I asked him. Tumingin ito saglit sa pool bago sa akin.

"What is the real reason why you broke up with him? Is it because you are afraid of what people will say about you?.... I can't blame you, Rai. You were just scared. It's valid. And I think he understands that too."

Bahagya akong napayuko dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Maybe when the time comes, when you will be ready. I hope that you're going to embrace who you are, Rai. You can't hide who you are forever.....Why don't you give it a try? If you lose something or someone, it doesn't matter; at least you tried to be real to yourself. Just always remember that even if everyone turns their back on you, there will still be people who will accept you for who you are. And that's us, Rai. Your friends and your family."
Paliwanag nito.

I can sense that he really care for me. I felt like I was awakened by what he said. But if I were to regret now, it would be too late. And perhaps this has also become a challenge for me. If ever we meet again then I'll give it a try.

If we are given another chance.

Nagpaalam na itong mauunang pumasok nang tawagin kami ni kuya Allen. Naiwan muna ako doon.

"Are you dating Athena?" tanong ng isang reporter sa akin. Bahagya kaming nagkatinginan ni Athena.
Tumawa ito at kumapit sa braso ko.

"We are good friends." Sagot ko habang ngumingiti sa camera.

"Wala bang chance na maging kayo?" Tanong naman ng isang reporter.

We laughed at it.

"May nakakita raw sa inyong dalawa na magkasama sa labas. Kayo na ba?" İsa sa mga reporter.

Pilit akong ngumingiti kahit na naiinis na sa mga tanong nila, kung bakit pinipilit nilang gawan kami ng isyung dalawa.

Athena's beautiful, everyone likes her. I respect her and she's a good friend. Ayaw kong pinag-iisipan kami.