Kade {girlxgirl} ©

Kade {Chapter Sixteen}

✞Jade✞

I stared out of my gloomy bedroom window. The rain cast blue shadows on my drawings that hung on my wall. I snuggled more into my deep purple comforter and sighed. The rain was calming. I watched the raindrops race down my window, smiling when the raindrop I was rooting for won the rain race. I got up and took out a piece of paper and pencil. I was in the mood for writing. I journaled my life. Told this senseless piece of paper how my life was. I was in the middle of telling the paper about my Kacie problem when I was disrupted. A tap on my bedroom door caused me to jump and snap the pencil. I glared at whoever was on the other side, a jagged line ran trough a few lines of my words. I sighed impatiently and opened the door to my father. He smiled warmly at me, I noticed a steaming cup of something in his hand and I stepped aside to let him in.

"Brought some tea for you." He said nicely. He placed the cup on my windowsill. I just nodded silently and went back to my writing.

He stood in the middle of my dark room awkwardly. He examined the endless words and pictures that hung on the walls. He inspected the dark orange christmas lights from Halloween last year that hung up above my bed. He frowned at the thick blankets that covered the other window in my room. Then he shook his head at the makeup pile on my dresser. I glanced at him, his blue eyes and blonde hair. I wished I didn't resemble him so much. I wanted to ask what he wanted but decided against it. I took a steaming sip of my tea and grimaced at the heat. My tongue burned slightly and I let it hang out of my mouth to cool off. My dad stared at me and chuckled.

He walked over to my bed and sat down slowly. He patted my foot that was near him, I put my tongue back in my mouth and moved my feet away.

I averted eye contact as much as I could as he stared at me. My blue eyes, my dyed red hair and black clothes. He looked at my pale small figure unlike his tanner, chubby body.

"Why won't you look me in the eye?" He demanded softly. I shrugged in response. He rubbed his stubble in frustration and I noticed a small tattoo inscribed on his wrist. I stared at his arm and almost cried.

Jade
Was inscribed in pretty letters in his skin. Why did he have to be so confusing all the time. I swallowed hard and gazed out of the window.

"You betrayed me you know." I said choking on my words a little. I cleared my throat and coughed back nerves.
I ran a hand through my hair and squeezed my ribs. My fingernails dug into my skin as he looked away and sighed.

"You know your mom does the same thing." He gestured to my hand squeezing my side, "It's her nervous habit."
I nodded. Yes I was aware that she did that.

"I'm sorry I betrayed you, back then.... everything was just getting too hard to handle." He said sadly. My eyebrows came together and I scoffed in disbelief.

"Yeah you're going to have to do more than an apology. A half-assed apology won't make up the years you were gone."

He nodded and crossed his arms. I watched his eyes move nervously around the room-trying to think of something to say. His lip swelled and started bleeding a bit from the pressure of biting that he was doing.

"Why did you come back?" I asked in the tense silence. I took another sip of the tea, and stared straight at him.

He swallowed; his Addams Apple bobbing nervously, I tried not to laugh.

"You needed me." He said after a few minutes of thinking. I raised an eyebrow at his pathetic attempt to save his ass.

"No. Actually I didn't."

"You were in the hospital." He argued.

"Doesn't mean I needed you... you were the last person I needed. You triggered a panic attack remember?"

He groaned, getting more and more impatient with me.

"Why. Are. You. Back." I demanded slowly. My blue eyes narrowing angrily.
I was tired of his bullshit.

"Fine you want to know the truth??? It's because CPS contacts me telling me that maybe I should be in your life more because of your mental health."

My mouth dropped. Tears stung the back of my eyes, I felt like screaming.

"So you're back only because 'child protective services' told you?!" My voice was getting higher and louder, I was pissed. Pissed at my fuck up father... but mostly I was pissed at myself for even thinking he was a good person.

"Not exactly. You see your mom and I started talking again and now she's pregnant, I think I'm staying for good!" He said cheerfully.

"No." I said sternly, "You are going to be that kids everything and when you decide it's "too hard to handle" you'll leave that kid with nothing but a damn goodbye. Then you'll go off to who knows where and we won't see you for ten years or so. Isn't that right?" I demanded. He narrowed his eyes dangerously and stood up.

"You don't know anything." He stated.

"Well I know a lot more that you fucking think." I stood up and crossed my arms. He set his jaw, spun on his heel and stomped out of my room, slamming the door behind him. The house shook. His thundering footsteps filled the house. I heard some murmuring downstairs and then a door slam. I pulled my hair and looked out of the window. My father walked outside and opened the car door and slammed that shut too.

"Yeah leave why don't you, you seem really fucking good at that." I screamed out of the window. He pulled out of the driveway and sped off.

I fell back down in my bed and sighed heavily. The rain came in through the window and soaked the windowsill. I put my headphones in and some old 90's grunge music came on. I stared numbly at my hands as tears collected on my pale fingertips. my own father is a stranger.. just a stranger with some memories.

fuck my fucking life.

__________________________

3 in the fucking morning writing this.

Here's an update (:

does anyone even like this book??

Comment and vote !!

xoxomychemicalr0se