Beneath The Surface

Chapter 23: Cracks in the Armor

Ava sat on the park bench long after Lucas had left, her mind swirling with emotions. The weight of the conversation pressed on her chest, making it hard to breathe. She had never wanted to hurt anyone, least of all Lucas, but now she found herself in the middle of a situation that seemed impossible to navigate. Her phone buzzed again, but this time she didn't bother to check it. She knew it was Ethan, and right now, she couldn't deal with him either.

After what felt like an eternity, Ava stood up, wiping away the tears that had escaped. She needed to clear her head, to find some sense of clarity in the chaos. As she walked aimlessly through the park, her thoughts drifted back to when everything had been simpler—before the makeup, before Ethan, before the pressure of being someone she wasn't.

She made her way back home, the streets quiet as evening settled in. Her mother was in the kitchen when she arrived, the familiar smell of homemade soup filling the house. Ava greeted her with a weak smile before retreating to her room.

Once inside, she sat on her bed and finally checked her phone. Ethan's message was short: **"Can we talk?"** Ava sighed. She knew avoiding him wasn't a solution, but after everything with Lucas, she wasn't sure she could handle another intense conversation.

Deciding to take a break from it all, she grabbed her makeup bag and sat in front of the mirror. Over the past year, makeup had become her sanctuary—a place where she could control how she looked, even when everything else in her life felt uncontrollable. With each brushstroke and line, she could transform herself into the version of Ava that the world expected to see.

As she applied her foundation, her mind wandered back to the first time she had experimented with makeup. It had been an accident, really. She had stumbled across a tutorial online and thought she'd give it a try, just for fun. But what had started as a simple experiment had quickly become a way for her to hide her insecurities. The compliments that followed only reinforced her need to keep up the act.

But now, looking at herself in the mirror, she wondered if it was worth it. The girl staring back at her was beautiful, yes, but she didn't feel like Ava. She felt like a stranger, a mask that she had to put on every day just to get by.

Ava set the makeup brush down, her hand trembling slightly. She leaned closer to the mirror, staring into her own eyes as if searching for something—anything—that felt real. But all she saw was the polished, perfected version of herself, the one everyone expected her to be.

She wiped the makeup off, her face bare and exposed. For the first time in months, she allowed herself to be vulnerable, to face the truth she had been avoiding: she was tired of pretending. Tired of feeling like she had to be someone else to be loved, to be accepted. And most of all, she was tired of hiding from herself.

Her phone buzzed again, and this time she answered. Ethan's voice on the other end was soft, filled with concern. "Ava, are you okay?"

She took a deep breath before replying. "No, Ethan. I'm not. I don't think I've been okay for a while now."

There was a pause, then Ethan's voice came back, steady but unsure. "Do you want to talk about it? I can come over if you need."

Ava hesitated. She knew talking to Ethan would help, but after the emotional rollercoaster of the day, she wasn't sure she was ready to open up to him completely.

"I don't know," she said finally. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Alright," Ethan replied. "I'll be here when you're ready."

After hanging up, Ava collapsed onto her bed, exhaustion finally catching up to her. As she lay there, staring at the ceiling, she realized that the cracks in the perfect image she had built were starting to show. And maybe, just maybe, it was time to let them.

For the first time in a long while, she drifted off to sleep without the weight of her insecurities pressing down on her. Tomorrow, she would have to face Ethan and Lucas again, and the complicated feelings that came with them. But tonight, she allowed herself a moment of peace, free from the expectations of the world.

As she slept, her phone buzzed one last time—another message from Ethan that she would read in the morning: **"I care about you, Ava. Don't forget that."**