Beneath The Surface

Chapter 43: Torn Between Two

Ava felt the weight of Lucas's gaze on her as she walked out of the café, the cool night air hitting her face like a slap. Her chest was tight, her thoughts tangled into knots she couldn't unravel. The streets were quieter now, the hustle of the evening fading into the distance as she headed toward home, but her mind was anything but calm.

She wasn't sure what she had expected from the meeting with Lucas. Maybe she had hoped it would help clear her head, give her some direction, but instead, it had only deepened the confusion. His words replayed in her mind: *What if we're meant to be together?*

Ava squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push the thought away, but it lingered like an echo she couldn't silence. It wasn't just Lucas. Ethan's disappointment still haunted her, the look on his face when he walked away etched into her memory. She cared for both of them—more than she wanted to admit—but the pull between them was tearing her apart.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and for a second, her heart leaped, thinking it might be Ethan. But when she pulled it out, it was a message from her mom, asking when she'd be home. Ava sighed, typing a quick reply before tucking the phone away.

She needed space, time to think. But as much as she wanted to figure things out, the pressure of it all was suffocating. It wasn't just about Lucas and Ethan anymore. It was about who she was when she was with them—how she felt more like herself when she was with Lucas, but also more grounded when she was with Ethan.

Her feet took her to a nearby park, the familiar path calming her as she walked. The trees rustled gently in the evening breeze, and for a moment, she let the sounds of nature drown out the chaos in her head. She found a quiet bench and sat down, wrapping her arms around herself as the chill of the night settled in.

She stared up at the sky, the stars barely visible through the city's lights. Ava had always loved looking at the stars, finding peace in their distant glow. But tonight, even they couldn't soothe the storm inside her.

Her phone buzzed again, and this time, it *was* Ethan. Her stomach flipped as she hesitated, her thumb hovering over the notification.

**Ethan:** *We need to talk.*

Her heart sank. Of course, he wanted to talk—after what had happened earlier, she had been waiting for this message. But now that it was here, she didn't know if she was ready for the conversation that was bound to follow. She didn't want to lose him, but she also couldn't lie to herself—or to him—about how complicated her feelings had become.

Taking a deep breath, Ava opened the message.

**Ava:** *Okay. When?*

The reply came almost instantly.

**Ethan:** *Now. Can you meet me at the spot?*

Ava's pulse quickened. "The spot" was the place they always went when they needed to talk—an old, abandoned lookout at the edge of the city. It was their place, somewhere no one else knew about, where they could be alone and speak freely.

Her mind raced as she stood up from the bench, her fingers trembling slightly as she typed back.

**Ava:** *I'll be there.*

---

It didn't take long to reach the lookout, her feet practically carrying her there on autopilot. The view from the top was breathtaking, the city sprawled out beneath her like a sea of twinkling lights. But Ava barely noticed it. Her heart was pounding, her chest tight with anticipation.

She spotted Ethan leaning against the railing, his silhouette stark against the night sky. His posture was tense, his hands gripping the rail as if holding himself together. Ava approached quietly, her footsteps soft against the gravel path.

When she was close enough, he turned, his expression unreadable in the dim light. For a moment, neither of them spoke. The silence stretched between them, thick with everything that had been left unsaid.

Finally, Ethan broke the silence, his voice low and steady. "Ava, I need to know where we stand."

Her breath caught in her throat, the words she had been dreading. She looked down at her hands, unable to meet his eyes. "I... I don't know," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "Everything is so complicated right now."

Ethan's jaw tightened, his frustration evident. "I get that. But I can't keep doing this, Ava. I can't keep wondering if I'm just second place to Lucas."

Ava's heart sank. "It's not like that, Ethan. You're not—"

"Then what is it?" he interrupted, his voice rising slightly. "Because I feel like I'm always waiting for you to choose. And it's killing me."

Tears pricked at the corners of Ava's eyes. She didn't want to hurt him, but she didn't know how to make things right either. "I don't want to hurt you," she said softly. "I care about you so much, Ethan. But I... I care about Lucas too."

Ethan ran a hand through his hair, his frustration clear. "Then what do you want, Ava? Because I can't keep waiting around forever."

Ava swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing down on her. She had never felt so torn, so lost. She wanted to make things right, but no matter what she chose, someone was going to get hurt.

"I don't know," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I just... I don't know."

---