Diary of a College Dropout (18+)

Entry 17: He knows

And his reaction was... not what I expected it to be?

To be honest, I don't know what I expected from Preston. I mean, I knew what NOT to expect, which was him being over joyed like you see in those videos online where the couples are actually trying to get pregnant.

Seriously, why couldn't God just give this baby to one of those people!? Or those couples that can't have kids and try so desperately!

This feels like a sick cosmic joke.

Anyways, I went over to the Dunn's Auto Body garage this morning and sat in my car. I had to hype myself up for what I was about to do. The whole way over, I was listening to the song X Gon' Give It To Ya by DMX.

As if that would work.

I had it on full blast and all the people in the other cars were staring at me like I was crazy as I rapped along angrily with Earl Simmons' voice.

I stared at myself in the vanity mirror and pulled my ponytail tight.

"Just go in there and tell him you're pregnant!" I glared at myself.

I got out of the car in my shorts and my oversized t shirt. Basic, yes. Especially for the news I'm carrying but what can I say? I'm a mom now.

My hyped up demeanor stayed with me as I marched up to the door and walked into the office.

Then I saw Mr Dunn.

My child's future grandfather.

A whole new level of fear washed over me as I realized that Preston was not the only person I would need to tell this news to. I'd have to tell our families! Our friends! Our parents!!

Mr Dunn was looking at me with a large smile and a mug of coffee in his hand. Alyssa had told him that Preston and I were back together and he'd been so happy ever since.

"Hey Parker! How are you," he greeted me as he got up from his desk.

I really wish he hadn't asked that because my response was self destructive word vomit.

"I'm pregnant."

The moment the words left my lips, I gasped and clasped my hand over my mouth.

Mr Dunn nearly choked on his coffee and tripped over his chair.  I reached my arm out as if to grab him but it's not like I could catch the guy from where I was standing

"I- I mean- I'm-"

"You're what?!" He asked with his eyes wide, staring at me in disbelief.

"I'm pregnant?" I smiled meekly. "Yay..?"

Mr Dunn ran his fingers back through his hair and I thought he was having a heart attack. He sat back and closed his eyes with a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked him quietly.

"I'm fine..." he said as he tried to calm his breathing. "Are you okay?"

I thought about it for a second and shook my head.

"No," I shrugged. "I'm scared."