Diary of a College Dropout (18+)

Entry 8: Im Bringing Back the Old Me

Ever since I texted Luke, I hadn't heard a thing from him.

Not a single word.

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders but it was still weird though. I know it was really horrible of me to end things through a text message but it had to be done. If we had spoken on the phone, it wouldn't have happened at all. I wouldn't be able to handle hearing his heart break and I'd chicken out like I always did. This wasn't just me ending our engagement. It was me ending our entire relationship.

I've made my choice and it's Preston.

I mean it, I'm all in.

Luke deserves better and now he's free to go find better. Preston only wanted me so I gave myself to him. Even if Luke can't see it, I know it's best for everyone.

Today, feeling a little bit better about myself for doing the right thing, I decided to go for a swim at the lake. Leah invited me this time and warned me that Preston was going to be there.

I didn't need the warning though.

I was excited to see him again.

When I got there, they were hanging out on the dock as usual. Elijah, Julie and Darcy sat on the edge while Preston and Dylan were in the water. I'll admit that I was a bit sour about Darcy being there. Even when she smiled at me, I had to force myself to smile back.

Everyone else greeted me as I laid my towel down and sat next to Leah. She smiled at me and tossed me her sun tanning oil. I took it happily and began to lather myself in it. Preston's eyes were on me and I smiled to myself.

He got out of the lake and walked over to Leah and I. With water dripping from his body on to me, he knelt down, brushed my hair off my shoulder and whispered in my ear.

"You look so beautiful today."

The feeling of his warm breath mixed with sensation of the cool water against my skin gave me a chill.

When he stood up and walked away, I couldn't help but grin to myself with a small giggle. Leah shot up from her towel and threw her sunglasses off her face. She leaned in toward me and harshly spoke in a hushed tone.

"What the hell was that? What did he say to you?"

"Nothing," I shoved her, still giggling like a love struck school girl.

"That was not nothing! What did he say?!"

"I'll tell you later," I promised.

"No, tell me right now."

I groaned playfully and grabbed her arm. We stood up and I dragged her down the length of the dock toward the visitor's center building. We were standing privately near the bathrooms and she took my hands in hers.

"Are you and Preston cool again? Or are you two... 'cool' again?"

She asked pointedly with air quotes and everything.

I took a deep breath before I laid it all out for her.

"Leah, we hooked up."

"WHAT?!" She shrieked.

"Twice."

"Oh my God!" She gasped as a smile formed on her face.

Her smile dropped abruptly and she asked me something I really didn't want to think about.

"But what about you and Luke..?"

I let out a huff and looked at my friend very seriously.

"I'm going to be very honest with you Leah and I need you to keep it a secret..."