Be Mine - Lingorm

Part 58

Orm

After Bow and Rati left, I went upstairs to our bedroom. Right now, I am being a coward again because I haven't even asked them to come along. It's not that I don't miss Ling, or worse, I don't care about her, it's just I am scared to see her condition. The evidence of the pain she has suffered. Not to mention, it's because of me.

All of the problems and predicaments Ling has been through. I am the cause. I wonder if her parents still want me for her. Still insist that Ling needs me and Ling loves me from the bottom of her heart.

If that day, I listened to her, we both wouldn't hurt this way. Ling won't be a risk of not knowing if she survives or not.

I cry...hard when a gust of wind hits my face from the window, along with her scent. Her scent lures me into imagining our happy moments together. The possibilities are impossible to think about because they won't come back. I smile, thinking how accurate Lisa was when I left.

She said that I will regret it. And, here I am, regretting every moment I have done to hurt her. To hurt the only person who loves me. The only human being who can make me happy.

I see a few packs of cigarettes on the floor. She said she only smokes when she is stressed. She stopped doing that a long time ago because l insisted. The damn things destroy her health.

I hate myself even more, seeing that gross thing. It's the evidence that I stressed her out, and she did nothing to deserve it. How could I possibly make it right? I come here, intending to ask her if she wants me back, and it turns out that l am too late.

I might not even get to know the answer from her mouth. Knowing how persistent she is, I know she will do anything to know where l am and come after me. I will live with regret because I might not know why she went to find me there. It's either she wants a divorce or asks me to stay. Even if the last possibility is low, at least, I could live with it for as long as she can live and survives the tragedy.

Ling will fight for her life because she is the strongest woman I have ever seen. She has to, and she needs to because she needs to be conscious enough to tell me to fuck off and blame me and that I will regret it forever. No matter how painful her words are, I can tolerate them because it means she is alive.

I noticed our wedding picture on the floor with glass shattered all over it. It's a bittersweet feeling to see it, though. It's the mixture of facial expressions I am talking about. The smile on my face that day, and the frown on Ling's face makes me smile. I know she was annoyed because she didn't want me to be her bride. She didn't love me, but I thought she was cute when her brows frowned in annoyance. She's a bit more serious than when she finally let me in and is so possessive over me.

It's like a dream come true, thinking back, and I had to destroy it with my own hands. I take the picture carefully from the shards of the glasses. I wish that I could fix everything, but it's impossible right now, and if anything happens to Ling, I will be dead even if it's not physically, but I'll live this life with no soul and emotion anymore.

It's hurt so much.

Closing my eyes after placing the picture next to me on the bed, I grab Ling's pillow and hug it, hoping, that it will magically change to Ling, and the day we were together. She kisses me, hugs me tightly, and whispers comfort in my ears while hand rubbing my back and head.

Then, I fall asleep in a dream world where I still am happy, and I don't act crazy.---I open my eyes slightly to see both my mom and Ling's mom in front of me. The sadness on her mom's face I have never seen before makes me hate myself even more. I disappoint her, and she should know that it's my fault, and I am the one to blame. She can scold me however she wants to."I am sorry,"

"You didn't tell me you came back." My mom states while sitting and hugging me. "I am sorry to both of you. I didn't mean it. I don't want Ling to be in danger because of me."

"You have already known?" Ling's mom asks curiously and angrily. Well, who am I to whine about that?

I nod, "Rati told me while she and Bow came to get Ling's stuff to the hospital." I close my eyes, trying to do my best to speak without choking. The thought of Ling being wounded and hurt has screwed me already. I don't know what is going to happen when I see her.

"I am sorry." I sit on the floor, hugging her leg. I can't look at her in the eyes now, and I know that she won't like it if I hug her. I hurt her daughter, so that's all I could do now.

"Orm." She sits down, wrapping her arms around me.

"That's my fault. Ling does that because of me." There's no other reason than that because deep down, I know she won't abandon me like I did to her. She had someone find me without letting other people know. I saw my pictures in Ko Samui on her desk before I slept.

"She did that because she loves you so that you don't escape from her again."

I pull back, looking at her. "Am I allowed to visit her? I am the cruelest wife ever, and I doubt if she even."

"Orm, l am going to be honest with you that I didn't want you for my daughter again after she got into an accident, and worst of all you are the reason why, but I can't break my daughter from her happiness. She wants you, and we both know that. No matter how much she suffered, when she was awake, your name was the first one she called." She finishes with a smile as I widen my eyes.

"Is she-''

"Yep! She is okay now. We just got a call from the doctor before we came here. And, Orm, I understand your worry. I watched you growing up, so I know most things about you, and I adore you like my own daughter. That's why I think Lisa can take care of you well. Both of you can get each other's back and bring happiness to your own family. The only thing I want from you now is to trust my daughter. That she won't leave you and choose another woman instead of you. Can you do that?"

I nod, happily as my tears fall down my cheeks. I wipe it and hug her as my mom rubs my back comfortingly.

I wonder how could I face Lisa without feeling guilty, but this time, I won't leave her again no matter how hard life goes.

I love you, Ling.

Wait for me, love.