NO LUCK WITH LOVE

Again, I admire from afar

Oh, to fall in love again after being hurt over and over again. It's a curse, isn't it? To fall in love with someone just by looking at their eyes, just by the first look. 

I never planned on falling in love with you, I never imagined it. I already knew you when I was still young, you were nothing more than someone I just "know". Why now, after so many years, you become such a big part of my life? 

I don't know why I even fell in love with you, all I did was look into your eyes, I was captivated. I wanted to know more about you, I wanted to be close to you. All I wanted was to know about you, your life, your interests, and what kind of a person you are. 

I never had intentions of being more than that, I just wanted to admire you, as a friend. Yet you look at me the wrong way. You already know I like you, yet you still keep showing actions that someone would do if they liked someone. But I know, your heart belongs to another. 

I'm not complaining, I never intended for you to look at me this way, I wanted you to treat me as a friend, that was all I needed. Yet now, you're making me think I don't only want you as a friend. With your words, you say you love another, you miss another, you want another. Why does your actions say so otherwise? 

Why do these things to someone you don't like? Why hurt someone who did nothing wrong but admire you? Why? 

I want to lose feelings for you. I don't want to like you. I don't even know what I like about you. 

Your actions don't make me happy, your words stab through me, yet your eyes talk in another language. 

It's not like I know what you feel. Your emotions are always hidden, you'll never show them to me. I'll never know who you truly are. 

I want to be your friend, truly, but why do you not treat me as such? What do you really want?