Too Much, but Never Enough

Chapter 4- Insecurities

After school, Clyde finally manages to get some alone time with his girlfriend. He half expects her to cancel only moments before they're set to hang out, claiming that something has come up with Heidi, or Lola, or any of her other friends, and even when they make it to her house he has a hard time believing their hangout won't be cut short for the same reason.

Seemingly against all odds they make it upstairs and turn on a movie without anything coming up to drag her attention elsewhere. She puts on some sappy Netflix rom-com for them to watch. Though Clyde wouldn't be caught dead watching them in front of the guys, he secretly actually loves them. He always ends up crying like a bitch though, and the only people allowed to see him like that are Bebe and his father.

"Kitty seriously needs to mind her own damn business," Bebe comments as they watch. She'd put on To All The Boys I've Loved Before and they've just gotten to the scene where Laura Jean finds out her little sister mailed out all her secret love letters. "Seriously, if someone did that to me I'd beat their ass on the spot. I wouldn't care if they're like twelve. Imagine all your old middle school crushes reading all the embarrassing things you thought about them." She groans, hiding her face in her hands.

"I'd probably probably die of embarrassment, or at least seclude myself from society and live the rest of my life as a hermit," Clyde agrees. He remembers how in fourth grade he used to film flirty videos of himself on his iPad where he'd confess to his crushes, but he'd always chickened out before sending them. Thank god. Luckily he'd deleted them all long ago; Clyde couldn't even begin to imagine how embarrassing it would be if those videos got out.

Bebe slaps a hand to her chest, letting out an exaggerated gasp. "Clyde Michael Donavan, do you mean to tell me you've had crushes on other girls? Am I not your one and only?" Her tone is playful, and Clyde knows it's a joke meant to make him laugh, but it's not quite as funny when he's been actively questioning their relationship for a while now. Regardless, he tries his best to push his concerns to the side and play along.

He wraps his arms around her waist, resting his cheek up against hers. "Of course you are," he says, hoping his voice doesn't give away the doubts in his mind. "I had a wild fourth grade though," he adds, pressing a kiss into the base of her neck. She tensens slightly, and Clyde is reminded that she's a bit ticklish there. He tightens his grip around her waist and attacks her skin with a barrage of tiny little kisses as she squirms in his arms.

He can't help but smile, just so glad to finally be able to spend this kind of time with her. He's missed her so much lately, and has been desperate for any kind of affection from her. Finally getting a moment alone like this is almost enough to convince him that they're still a solid couple, and that they haven't irreparably grown apart. Almost. Though no longer at the forefront, the doubts still linger in the back of his mind.

The light kisses tickling her neck quickly find their way up to her lips, and soon the movie has been abandoned in favor of making out. Clyde doesn't know when he'll get another chance to hang out like this, with just the two of them, and he wants to take advantage of it to the full extent, or at least the full extent that he's comfortable with. All their clothes stay on, though he does slip a hand under her shirt to feel her breasts. It's the most he ever does with her, the thought of going anywhere past that is nearly frightening enough to paralyze him. By the time they return their attention to the movie, the end credits are already rolling.

"Did we really miss practically that whole movie?" He asks, holding back a laugh. There's this certain giddiness to his tone that hasn't been there in a while. This is exactly what he needed to recharge. Now that he's spent an afternoon of quality time with Bebe, he's feeling a little less uncertain of the fact that she actually wants to be with him.