~ Chromatober 2024 ~

Day 15: Emergency/Rubatosis

Rubatosis- The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat

----

Series: Ruined Reality

AU: BLACKOUT

Characters: Dark

Angst level: Panic Attack :D

----

I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.

I couldn't escape it. The whispering. It was quiet, yet loud. No matter what I tried to do, I couldn't get it out of my head.

"CLIFF! GET OVER HERE!" Louis's shout was muffled compared to the whisper. It filled my ears. My hands shook. I badly wanted to silence the source of the whispering to make it stop, but I couldn't get to it. It was all around me. It pounded in my ears so loudly that anything else around me was nearly drowned out.

"CLIFF- THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!" My eyes lock onto Louis as he holds onto my arm, concern written into his face with the gills on his neck flaring from his emotions. I... I couldn't take it! My hands claw at my jacket, trying to get after the source of the whispering.

I'm Here. I'm Here.

Make it stop- MAKE IT STOP!

"Dark, Stop!" Hands grab mine, forcing me to look up. The Elite's face was just still filled with concern and he was shaking his head. "Dark- Dark it's ok. You'll be ok," He turns his head to the side again. " CLIFF GET YOUR [Redacted] OVER HERE!"

My chest heaves as even through Louis holding both of my hands tightly, I could feel my hands shaking. Yet the whisper wouldn't stop. It was... loud. It was driving me mad. It was almost like-

"Hahaha!" I freeze, whipping my head around. No- No Not in this- No... S-Sabre...?

I'M HERE. I'M HERE.

Stop stop stop- STOP!

I can't fight back the tears that fill my eyes as I feel my chest heaving. It- It was too much- Everything was too much-

"LOUIS!"

"Proxima! Oh thank gosh- Where is Cliff??"

"Currently preoccupied, is he okay?!"

"No- I think Soul Eater might have triggered something with him! He's trying to claw at his own chest and hasn't stopped shaking! I can't tell what's wrong with him!"

"Panic attack, Louis- Shift over."

I see the Elite move over to my other side and a taller figure take where he was at. Stern eyes meet mine as he rests his hand on my shoulder. Yet his face was calm and... gentle.

"Dark, you're ok. Alright? You're safe. Focus on my voice here. I want you to list five things you see around you, ok?" Proxima's deep rumble of a voice pushes past the ever present whisper that drummed in my ears. List... Five things I see... I- I can do that... I...

Trying my best to find my voice through the whisper, I look around me. There was... "C-Clouds..." My voice sounded so foreign to me, but I push through and keep going. Four more... "Th-There's Oak trees..." I glance back to Proxima, seeing him nod. "Keep going, Dark. Ok?"

I'M HERE.

No no no-!

I screw my eyes shut. It was unbearable.

"Dark, You're fine. Focus on my voice, ok? You're safe. Alright?" The general's voice pushes past the whisper again, along with the sensation of him gently squeezing my shoulder. But- I shake my head. No- No I- I couldn't- "I... I... Can't..." I force out. "Yes, you can, Dark. Ok? There isn't anything here to hurt you."

Shaking my head again, I try to explain, but my throat closes up. It felt as though a hand had closed around it.

With little warning, I feel myself being drawn forward then surrounded but a faint warmth. My face was settled into the crook of a shoulder, resting gently against armor plating. This suddenness... released the hold on my throat. Shaking, I wrap my hands around whoever it was.

"... Your heart is racing. No wonder."

... That- That was what the whisper was. My own heart beat. The beating that I was too aware of, that kept saying, "I'm here. I'm here."

"Dark, take a deep breath in with me, ok? Follow my lead." I pause, hearing Proxima's voice so close in my ear and feeling the rumble of his voice through his neck and armor. With a bit of effort, I nod. I... I had no other choice.

"In... 1... 2... 3..."

I take a deep breath in, trying my best to follow his counting through the pounding whisper in my ears.

"Hold... 4... 5... 6..."

With a bit of effort, I held my breath.

"Out... 7... 8... 9..."

It takes me all my will to not let out my breath in a rush. Yet... I make do.

"Again. Follow after me."

Proxima repeats the pattern, each time, I did my best to follow after, keeping my eyes closed to the world around me. Yet slowly but surely... I felt the shaking in my body ease up. My heartbeat slowed down, settling to a soft murmur. Then...

"Out... 7... 8... 9..."

I let out my breath slowly, then let my body go limp. Silence fills the space around me, with the only sensation being General Proxima's arms around me. I was... safe.

"... General, how did you know what to do...?" Louis's voice breaks the silence, prompting me to crack open an eye to look over at him. He was looking at us both in concern, but seemed to ease up, seeing me looking at him.

Feeling Proxima 'hmm', he lets me free of his embrace, then places his hands on my shoulders to urge me to look him in the eyes.

"Are you alright now, Dark?" His voice was still gentle, filled with concern for me. It takes me a moment, but I manage to nod. "I... should be... Uhm... Th-Thank you..."

The sound of footsteps rapidly crunching grass draws my attention and I see a bedraggled Cliff making his way over. "OK. OK. I'M HERE. WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?!" The aquamarine finally reaches us, then leans down, supporting himself on his knees as he catches his breath, the gills on his neck flaring with his breathing. Proxima speaks up before Louis could. "Everything is sorted out, Cliff. Dark was having a severe panic attack. Good job on misleading Corrupt away from us." The general nods at Cliff who looks up, then gives a tired thumbs up.

"You're- Welcome... I am not doing that again, though. It got reallyyy dicey out there." Cliff stands up straight, looking at me with a tired smile. I... guess I really was lucky I was found by these guys. They... really knew how to help me out.

I was grateful for it.