The Flux

Stupid Confusing.

Harumi POV:

He did it again, he just saved me. He threw me to the ground before the knife could get to me.

What the fuck. Why must he make everything so confusing. Why can't I hate him. I'm supposed to hate him. I do, I do hate him. For-for everything he did, he-he did something to me, why can't I remember it? Oh, that's right he's the reason my parents died.

We walk onto the main road, slipping through the crowd carefully. I lead us towards the city's museum. It's all coming back to me, the streets, the smells, the people.

"He would have saved them if he could" a voice whispers inside my head.

But he didn't he failed. "He was so young, like me" the voice whispers. I kick a nearby rock, it scatters across the ground.

No, he would save anyone, it was a reflex.

I stand in front of the museum. It's closed. I scowl in frustration. The museum was an old building, the marble pillars and walls crumble at the corners and the wooden doors look ancient. I walk up the shallow marble steps, I find a piece of paper attached to the door.

Closed  on Saturdays and Sundays it reads.

"It's closed on today and tomorrow." I say turning around. He stands at the bottom of the stairs with his hands in his pockets. I don't meet his eyes.

"Why do you want to go into the museum?" Lloyd asks.

"Let's find somewhere to stay first, I'll explain from there," I respond. He hesitates before nodding. When we left it was morning and at the moment it's should be about lunch time.

I saw an inn not to far away from here when we were walking, so I lead us towards that. When I don't hear Lloyd's footsteps behind me I turn around, I see him walking over towards an old lady who dropped her groceries, he bends down and helps her place them carefully in her bag. My body stiffens when he stands up and meets my eyes. Lloyd gives the lady a smile and she thanks him.

I don't say anything instead I turn around swiftly walking towards the inn. It takes a couple minuets for us to reach it. The building is made of wood but appears very sturdy, it has three floors with about 5 rooms on each floor. I walk through the doors and approach the young lady at the desk.

"Hello, can we-" I start she glances at both of us and cuts me off.

"You two are lucky, we only have one room left, it's on the third floor room 13," she says handing me the key.

"Wait, we need two-" I try to say but she leaves to attend to something else. I let out a huff of annoyance and ignore Lloyd, but I do hear his footsteps follow me up the stairs and when I reach the top floor I start to search the numbers on the doors. Our room is at the front and as I unlock and open the door I see that it has a balcony. The doors are open and light shines through the silky green curtain. I breath in softly and walk into the room.

I groan when I see that it only has one bed, but on the bright side they have a bathroom. I need a desperate shower and my hair needs a desperate wash. I take my shoes off before rushing into the bathroom and locking the door. I throw my clothes to the ground and turn on the hot water. 

I let my worries wash away and stand in the shower with blissful peace. I sigh and forget everything, I just soak in the warmth. Warm showers hit different.

I guess this is what I would imagine a warm hug to feel like, what caring about someone would feel like, what love would feel like. I let the warmth soak into my bones.

I don't remember what love feels like.

My adoptive parents cared about me but they never loved me.

Garmadon never loved me, he just wanted to use me.

I guess Lloyd is really the onl-

No, I cut that thought off. I don't love him. I was faking. I don't love him.

But he loves you, my mind whispers. Not anymore he doesn't. I whisper back.

I must sound insane, having an argument with myself.

I stand under the soothing streams of water for about 15 minuets before I wash my hair and grab a towel. I dry off and put my clothes back on. I pull my wet, white hair into a bun on top of my head so that it doesn't get my clothes wet.

Stepping out of the bathroom I get to see Lloyd sprawled across a couch. His eyes closed. Breathing softly and steadily.

I have to physically stop myself from smiling. Rays of sunshine rest on his cheeks. Waves of hair fall across his face. I sigh and walk to the balcony and hang my wet towel over it and I prop my elbows up, leaning on the railing, I've got a wonderful view of the city and the bustling of people sets an odd sense of comfort in my heart.

He is the cause of my suffering, he is the reason I lost my parents.

So why do I still feel like this. It's so... so stupid! And confusing.

I know I hate him but I don't feel like I hate him.

No I hate him, I hate him.

Do I though?

I shake the thought off and turn around and end up facing Lloyd. My eyes crashing into his green ones.

He stands in front of me with arms crossed against his chest.

"Enjoy your nap?" I ask smirking.

He rolls his eyes and retorts "Enjoy your shower?"

"Yes, actually I did." I say smiling.

He replies with a smirk of his own "Time for your first lesson."