The Price ࿊f Peace

☮️: 033

Somewhere in Oakland
Saturday June 2nd, 2024
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Syara walked out to her car, her hand in her purse as she checked her surroundings before she made it to her vehicle.

She was taking her time as she walked, as always, she was in no rush.

She missed him, of course, but she didn't really do this kind of thing. It felt too much like begging. And, she didn't need him, she just wanted him.

As soon as a man thinks you need them, they drain all the life out of you. And, as soon as you need a man, it'll take any life you have left.

That was a lesson that Syara learned while hanging out with one of her old foster moms. She was a sad woman, who stayed with her husband for 20 years, hoping that he'd give her a child to take care of. And, he fathered plenty, but she never got the chance to be a mother.

It was a sad lesson to learn, but it was only one of the thousands of examples she could name off.

She wouldn't allow herself to need anybody; much less, a man.

Syara could admit that sometimes she did things that weren't really reasonable to other people, in order to protect her heart. But, she wasn't doing it for other people. She was doing it to protect herself.

For a long time, she relied on only herself. She never cared to have a man before because of all that she'd seen, so why did she care so much about this one?

And, why did he care so much about her?

She couldn't be into him the way she was so quickly. It was not only weird, but too good to be true. This shit had to be some ploy to knock her down a peg.

She swore. It had to be a prank.

And not on no old sappy shit, like she was unloveable. There were plenty of niggas trying to love her and she wouldn't even blink in their direction. And she was well aware, especially with how some of them would blow her instagram DMs to the ground and back up.

But, this was random. All of a sudden, he didn't hate her? After hating her for literal years? After making sure at every turn that she knew how much he hated her? All of the sudden, he cared about her?

He was taking her on dates, holding her, kissing her, sleeping in the same bed as her. Doing things she'd never done before.

Syara hated the thought of being played. She couldn't handle it. Especially not from him because she knew better.

She just did. And she so desperately wanted to ignore her instincts and just fuck with him the way she did, but it was impossible when she was constantly telling herself she was getting played.

Syara stopped in her tracks in the middle of Kisses' yard, contemplating going back inside, taking her shower, and just going to sleep.

It was warmer in the house anyway.

She tried to turn back, to walk back into the house, but she couldn't.

She forged on to the car, getting into her driver seat, and drove off.

Syara took the time to think about how she would handle it. What if he closed the door in her face and left her on seen? What if he had someone else over? What if he cussed her out and broke things off completely? Would she be relived? Would she be hurt?

Eventually, Syara was getting worked up over all the questions that didn't have answers yet. She turned on some music to drown out her thoughts, but it did nothing to slow them down.

She was still thinking. And she knew she was wrong for what she was doing to him, but she couldn't help it.

She needed him to tell her why. She needed answers. She needed to know why he wanted her now, why he cared now.