Scared Love

Chapter 11

Matt moves and lays next to me.  He props himself on his elbows and brings his thumb to caress my cheek. He let's me come back to reality before trying to speak to me. 

"How was that?" he asks, his voice holds a hint of uncertainty. I look at him.

"Incredible." I murmur and he chuckles. It was incredible, beyond incredible. Now I know why people do these kind of stuff.

"I should have warned you before using my fingers, I tried to be gentle." he apologises and pulls me to his chest.  I shake my head and rest my chin on his chest to look at him. "It's okay, it felt good." I blush. He smiles and moves the loose strands of my hair backwards. I lay my head to his chest again and start to draw unfamiliar shapes on his chest. He groans and I stop.

"Don't stop, I like it." he says and I continue. 

"What are you afraid of?" he whispers.

His words play in my head.  Maybe I should tell him. Would he take advantage of that?

"Ella?" he calls me. "Mhmm?" I answer. " I'm not embarrassed about us or you." he says and I feel relieved.  " I didn't mean what I said earlier.  I needed your help as much as you needed mine.  I don't feel pity for you. I'm sorry if you felt that way." he apologises. A tear escapes my eyes and falls to his chest.  He lifts us softly and he uses his thumb to lift my head up.  A frown formed on his face. 

"What's wrong?" concern filled in his voice. "It's nothing Matt." I lay back on his chest. "Please tell me." he insists.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "My mother was impregnated by my father right after she finished collage. When my father found out about it he told my mother that he didn't want anything to do with the baby, with me, my mother couldn't bring herself to remove the pregnancy.  She decided to keep the baby and my late grandmother helped her. She finally gave birth to me. She got a job at the pharmacy near my grandmother's house. One day at work, a guy comes to buy some medicine and the guy likes my mother.  They start dating,  he proposes and promises to take care of my mother and me.  We were a happy family. He didn't care that I was someone else child. Until, one day-..." I sob.

"One day he comes drunk and shouting. My mom was at work.  He was so drunk and angry for an unknown reason. I only did one foolish mistake and he slapped me.  It became a habit whenever he was drunk.  Whenever he was drunk he would beat me,  kick me,  punch me and rub in my face that I didn't have a father. He became more violent day by day. It started when I was nine years old until I was thirteen. My mother never noticed because she always left early in the morning and came back late. One of my teachers at school noticed the red marks and scars and reported it to the authorities and he got arrested. We decided to move here and start afresh but I started to have nightmares every night. The nightmares are a re-..." I try to hold my tears but they are falling uncontrollably.

"Ssh it's okay, Ella." he comforts me.  I don't think I can continue but I want to let it all out. " The nightmares are a reminder Matt. A reminder of how cursed I am.  I was cursed before I was even born .  I'm cursed and I don't even know the reason.  I haven't done anything wrong."

"No you're not. Don't say that, nightmares happen Ella. You're not cursed. "

"Yes I am.  Don't you realise? I'm all alone, I have no one.  My own father abandoned me before I was even born.  He wanted nothing to do with me and now the only family I have is sick and if she dies I'm on my own. What have I done to deserve this Matt? What? " I sob. Matt pulls me closer and tightly hugs me in comfort.

"Ssh it's going to be okay Ella.  You're not alone. I'm here for you, always.  You have me, Lilliana,  my mother and even yours.  She's not going anywhere." he whispers. " it's in the past now and he's not coming back. It happens and you are not cursed, baby," he kisses my forehead.

I really want to believe him but I know after he gets the company and my mother is treated we will part ways.  Lilliana and Karen will hate me when they know the truth and I will have to start my life all over again. Maybe we will still be friends and I hope so. 

"Now rest, baby,  we have a long day tomorrow. " he snaps me out of my thoughts. He pulls the comforter up from the side and covers my naked body and his chest. 

Mathew's POV

Rosella is fast asleep and is so peaceful despite the fact that she just confessed her deepest and dark past to me. I never knew she's been so much shit growing up. I hope that jackass is rotting in jail for the rest of his life for the way he abused her. I also hope that crazy ass father of hers regrets not wanting to be part of her life. 

Why did she open up to me so much? I know she really wants to be my friend but I don't want that because I know in a few months she will be out of my life. I don't want to get attached to her or anyone else in my life. If I do I will regret it and I will be left with pain.

I look down at her and she looks so beautiful as she lays on my chest. I have never seen someone so sweet and caring as Rosella. No matter how many times I say stupid shit to her, it never brings her down. I pull Rosella closer and close my eyes to sleep.

( Hey y'all, sorry for the short chapter. Just wanted Rosella to finally tell Mathew about her past and they get to know each other a bit .Hope you enjoyed. I'm so sorry for the late updates it's just that I have been busy with school and my life )