Scared Love

Chapter 8

Kyle has been telling me how his new neighbor is fucking hot but to be honest I'm not really paying attention.  I really thought coming here would help.  It's fucking boring and I want to leave.  Kyle's stories are not interesting and there isn't any sexy looking girl anywhere. 

" I have to go man." I cut Kyle from his boring story. " Why? I mean we just got here. " Can't you mind your own goddamn business?  "I just realised I need to go finish up some paperwork. " I lie.  "Okay sure man.  See you around. " he says and I leave. 

I can't believe Rosella brought me breakfast at work even though I said all those mean words to her.  I will never understand her.  No matter what I say something bad to her, she is always nice to me. 

Rosella's POV

I have been checking the elevator after five seconds hoping Matt will just walk in.  I made dinner and I put Matt's food in the microwave. I have been trying to watch a movie but I can't concentrate.  I should be angry at Matt with everything he said to me in the morning but I'm impatiently waiting for him. 

I don't know how I'm going to tell him that I got a job at his company.  I'm sure he's going to be really pissed off by this but it's best he just sees me behind the desk on Monday. 

I hear the elevator door open and he walks in.  He doesn't greet me or seem to notice me.  He goes to his room and later comes back in a black T-shirt and sweatpants.  He gets his food from the microwave and sits on the other couch his back facing towards me.

I can't believe his ignoring me.  I feel like a ghost right now.  He isn't even asking to change the channel on the TV.  I can't stay like this forever.

I clear my throat. "It wouldn't kill to just greet me you know." he looks at me for a minute and turns his attention back to his food. " You know when I said that you distance yourself this is what I was talking about. " I say and he gets up and puts his plate in the sink. 

"I'm a ghost here. " I mumble but I know he heard me.  " What are trying to do here?" he asks.  " What am I trying to do here?  Hello,  you're the one who just got here and sits down and doesn't even notice me like I'm a ghost. " I wave my hand around the room.  "Stop. " he snaps and uses his hand to move loose strands of his hair off his forehead.  "No Matt I won't stop,  I don't want to live with someone who doesn't even notice me.  Living like strangers." I tell him. 

" Please Ella just leave me alone.  I have a fucking headache and I want rest!" he shouts.

" All I'm trying to do is having a conversation with you as people who live together and are tied together.  I'm trying to be your friend Matt but you are not making this easy for me. "

" I told you stop trying Ella.  Just stop this bullshit. Okay?!"

" Tell me you didn't mean everything you said in the morning! " oops I didn't see that coming from me. 

" God you are so frustrating. " he groans and slides his hand in his hair again. 

"Tell me Matt.  Tell me the truth. "

" Yes Ella I meant it okay? I fucking meant it.  Are you happy now?" he snaps.  I don't answer. 

" I don't know why you keep doing this.  I told you I don't want to be your friend and I don't know why you keep on trying and hurting yourself. " he says. 

" I understand. " my voice cracks. I walk to my room.

I hate to admit this but he's right, I just keep hurting myself just to be his friend when he doesn't  want that.  I don't know why I'm so convinced that we can be friends.  I grab my phone and text Karen that I would like to start tomorrow.  I get her messages in less than ten minutes saying that it's still okay.  I change into my pajamas and get into bed.