The Harper Generations: Country Roads

Reverend Nixon in all his glory

Misty

Grandma Naomi dragged us to church again, hoping it would save our souls since we all needed Jesus. She doesn't realize Jesus saved our souls, but God gave us back after he realized we were more trouble than we were worth. I'm guessing Lucille's deal with God wasn't that difficult to make after we ran amuck in the pearly gates.

You don't want to know what the Gray did in the afterlife. Let's say it made God agree to Lucille's deal.

So, like the good little family, we attended church. Yeah, right. We weren't good. I pity this psycho demon once we get our hands on it. It'll beg Satan to take it back.

We arrived at church, found our seats, and waited for Pastor Smith to arrive. After fifteen minutes without a pastor, the natives were getting restless.

A woman entered the church and headed to the front before facing the congregation. "It's with my humble apologies that we must cancel Sunday services today."

Everyone whispered amongst each other except Tino, Preston, and me.

"Pastor Smith is feeling under the weather today."

The whispering grew louder as the woman tried to speak.

Fortunately for Preston, this worked in his favor. He stood up, getting everyone's attention, including our family. "I don't see a point in canceling Sunday services."

The woman looked at Preston. "Pastor Smith can't make it. That's why we're canceling Sunday services."

"Oh, I heard you the first time. There's no need to repeat yourself."

My dad's face snapped in Preston's direction before he narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line. Tino and I looked anywhere but at my dad.

Preston moved past us in the pew and walked toward the woman. "We can still have Sunday services since I'm an ordained minister. I'm also studying theology at college."

The woman looked Preston up and down. "But you're so young."

"Lady, I'm much older than you realize."

"Christ," my dad muttered, covering his face with his hand.

"Our lord and savior," we said.

My dad glared at us as we sat there and grinned.

"Why don't you take a load off while we get this show on the road?" Preston asked, waving the woman off.

The woman backed toward a seat, stumbling until she fell onto a chair.

Preston turned to the congregation. "Now that's settled, let's get started, shall we?"

People grabbed their Bibles and opened them.

"You can put away your Bibles because you won't need them." His lips curled slightly.

Confusion flooded everyone as they whispered to each other.

"There's a reason you won't need your Bible today. Most people select passages from it while neglecting others. We call that cherry-picking. No one will do that today." Preston paced back and forth with one hand in his jeans pockets and gestured with the other one. "Do you realize most people misunderstand the concept of taking the Lord's name in vain? They think it refers to swearing. It's not. They use the Lord's name when they judge someone."