Don't Blame Me || Jeongcheol

Chapter 33

Jeonghan felt his heart swell at Haneul's innocent declaration. He pulled the boy closer to him, burying his face in the boy's soft hair.

"I love you too." he whispered, the words a fierce promise and a gentle murmur. "More than you'll ever know."

Jeonghan gently traced Haneul's cheeks, his fingers almost trembling against the boy's soft skin. The gesture was both tender and bittersweet, the love he felt for Haneul intertwining with the pain of the situation.

A lump formed in his throat as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. The mix of love and heartache was almost too much to bear, but he fought back his tears, not wanting to upset the boy on his lap.

"You're such a precious gift, Haneul," he murmured, his voice thick with unbidden tears. "Daddy is so lucky to have you."

Haneul seemed to sense Jeonghan's emotions. He looked up at Jeonghan, his eyes wide and innocent, his small hand reaching up to touch Jeonghan's face.

"Why are you sad, daddy?"

Jeonghan felt his heart break a little more at Haneul's question. The boy's innocence and pure concern only intensified the storm of emotions within Jeonghan.

He took a deep, shaky breath, trying to compose himself. "I'm...not sad." he lied, his voice cracking slightly. "Just a little tired, that's all."

Haneul furrowed his brow slightly, his lips pursing in a small pout. "You look sad," he said, his voice filled with a childish honesty. "You look like you're going to cry."

Jeonghan knew he should continue to deny it, to maintain the facade, but the weight of his emotions and Haneul's innocent observation were too much.

He felt a tear escape his eyes, rolling down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, but not before Haneul had noticed.

Haneul's eyes widened at the sight of Jeonghan's tear, his small hand reaching out to touch Jeonghan's cheek again. "Daddy," he whispered, his voice filled with a child's concern. "Why are you crying?"

Jeonghan swallowed hard, the lump in his throat growing bigger. He tried to put on a brave face, to smile for Haneul's sake. But the tear, the evidence of his pain, was undeniable.

"It's...it's nothing." he lied, his voice quivering. "I just...I just have a little something in my eye."

Jeonghan pulled Haneul closer, holding him tightly as his body trembled with sobs. The facade he'd tried so hard to maintain crumbled, and he let the tears fall freely.

He buried his face in Haneul's hair, feeling the boy's small arms wrapped around his neck, offering comfort despite not understanding the cause of Jeonghan's pain.

"I...I'm sorry.. Haneul.." Jeonghan managed between sobs, the words caught in his throat. "I'm sorry for everything."

He squeezed Haneul tighter, his emotions completely overwhelming him. The weight of his guilt, his love for Haneul, and the pain of his broken relationship with Seungcheol, it all poured out in a wave of tearful, desperate sobs.

Haneul seemed to sense Jeonghan's pain, his small body still, his grip on Jeonghan as tight as a child could muster. There was a moment of quiet, the only sound being Jeonghan's sobs and the soft hush of their breaths.

"It's...it's okay, daddy," Haneul whispered finally, his voice soft and comforting.

"No...no, it's not okay," he managed to choke out between sobs. His grip on Haneul was tight, almost desperate, as if holding onto the boy would anchor him to reality. "I've...I've done bad things...things that hurt not just your Cheol uncle, but...but you too."