Don't Blame Me || Jeongcheol

Chapter 37

A few days had passed since the heavy conversation between Jeonghan and Seungcheol. The air between them had softened, though a quiet unease lingered at the edges. It wasn’t that everything was perfect now, or that the past had magically vanished, but there was a shared understanding.

They were both trying, in their own ways, to heal and move forward. Jeonghan’s guilt still simmered under the surface, but Seungcheol had made it clear he wouldn’t be walking this road alone.

Jeonghan had been spending more time with Haneul, trying to make up for the tense moments that had clouded their days. The little boy had accepted his father’s apology, and their relationship, while still marked by the occasional lingering discomfort, was slowly finding its balance again.

Haneul, for all his impatience and occasional defiance, had a deep affection for his father. It showed in the way he’d wrap his arms around Jeonghan whenever they played or talked, even if the boy was still holding onto small traces of resentment from the day of the smack.

The nights were quieter now, and Jeonghan often found himself lying awake, wondering if Haneul would ever truly forget the incident or if the guilt would always linger between them. It was a slow process, the rebuilding of their trust, but it felt like the cracks were beginning to mend.

Seungcheol, on the other hand, had done his best to give Jeonghan the space he needed, but also kept a watchful eye. They hadn’t broached the subject of the past again, and Jeonghan was grateful for that. Their conversations had remained civil, the weight of their unresolved issues tucked away for the moment.

They had returned to the mundane talking about work, occasionally laughing about trivial things, as if nothing had changed. But Jeonghan knew the truth. There was so much more that still needed to be said, but neither of them had been ready to unpack it.

That evening, Jeonghan sat at the kitchen table, watching Haneul poke at his dinner. The boy’s small frown was almost unreadable, his thoughts seemingly elsewhere as he absentmindedly pushed peas around his plate. Jeonghan’s stomach twisted. He could feel the tension in the air, a subtle but undeniable strain between them.

"Haneul." Jeonghan said gently, his voice soft yet firm. "You’re not hungry anymore?"

Haneul looked up at him with tired eyes, his expression guarded. After a pause, he shook his head. "I’m just tired." he muttered, avoiding his father’s gaze. The tension in his voice mirrored the exhaustion in his face.

Jeonghan felt a pang in his chest. His mind raced back to the night of the smack, the words they had exchanged, the way Haneul had flinched from him. He never wanted to see that look again.

"I’m sorry, chipmunk." Jeonghan said, his voice breaking slightly as he pushed his chair back and walked over to Haneul. He placed a hand gently on his son’s shoulder, trying to convey his sincerity. "I know things have been a little off lately, but I want you to know that I’m trying. I want to make things right between us."

Haneul was silent for a moment, staring at the untouched food in front of him. His small voice broke through the quiet. "I know, Daddy.." he whispered. "But… you still hit me." He hesitated, like he was searching for the words. "It hurt."

Jeonghan’s breath caught in his throat. The words stung more than he had anticipated. The guilt that had been simmering inside him boiled over, and he knelt beside his son, feeling the weight of the moment.

"I didn’t mean to hurt you, Haneul." Jeonghan said, his voice thick with emotion. He swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. "I… I made a mistake. And I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I promise."