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HOW DID I always end up in these situations? It's 9:30 at night and I'm in a car with Johnny Kavanagh. He's driving fast and it's exhilarating.
I put in a tape I had on me into his car. The Killlers Shot at the Night blasting.
I hated how happy I was right now. I didn't recognize the person I was right now. I look over at Johnny and he's not watching the road. He's watching me.
"You like this band?" He asks and returns his eyes to the road. I snort, "my favorite band of all time."
Once in a lifetime Once in a lifetime Oh give me a shot at the night
I listen to the lyrics and the melody is perfect. Johnny had one hand on the wheel and he was so confident when he was driving. He always confident.
One of his hands is on his thigh and he's tapping to the beat of the song. I move my hand wanting to touch his but I decide against it and rest my hand on the center console.
His fingers flex and then unflex. His jaw is locked and he's concentrating on the road. Johnny moves his hand over slightly.
Then again. Then again. And then his hand is also on the center console. We're both looking at the road.
I can tell he's nervous because I'm nervous. This was the most intimate position I've ever been in.
The song, the car, the hands, the boy. Finally I interlock our pinkies. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
My heart is beating fast and I'm aware of everything around me. Usually I'd do a line when I felt this way but I didn't want to.
This moment was precious. I couldn't ruin it.
And then it starts raining. Johnny stops and I realize where we are. The beach.
I open my door not caring that it's raining and I walk towards the sand. He follows me.
"You're gonna get sick! Take my hoodie." He pulls his black rugby hoodie off. In the front it reads Tommen Rugby. The back has his number 13 and his last name.
I put it on and feel how comfortable it is. I smell his cologne and I almost melt at the scent. He's left in a white shirt and since it's getting soaked his abs are poking through.
I look up at the night sky and see the stars and my face is getting covered in rain.
"Give me your hand Kavanagh." I say and hold my hand out. Without hesitation he takes it.
I start running and he does too. We start chasing after each other until he eventually catches me and picks me up. His big arms are wrapped around my waist and he lifts me up.
I bring my knees up to my chest and let out a whole heart laugh. I rest my head back against his shoulder.
Feeling confident I turns my head and bring my lips to his neck. His laughter dies down as I wrap on arm around his neck and press a kiss to his jaw. It's so soft, it's barely there.
I drop out of his arms and turn to him. I sigh feeling rejected and then he says, "dance with me."
I stare at him, I don't dance. Yet for some reason my body gets possessed and I grab his hand.
I wrap my arms around his neck and he places his firm hands on my hips. With the harsh beating at us it hard to see each other.
We could feel each other though. Every move he makes I feel, every time he moves his hands up and down on my body I feel it.
I take my hands off him to lift my hoodie and he puts his hands on my skin. Instead of putting my hands on his neck I put them on his chest.
We're swaying back and forth and the ocean is beating aggressively. I pull closer to him and end up with my body pressed against his, my arms wrapped around him.
My face is in his chest when he kisses my head. Johnny puts a hand on the back of my head and one on my lower back.
I let out a shudder, "Johnny..." I felt so at peace in his arms, we couldn't have stood there for more than two minutes but for me it felt like an eternity.
He let out a sigh of content and he rested his chin on my head. His hand is still under the hoodie he gave me and I reach under his shirt and hold his bare back.
He lets out a short breath, "Quinn." I think of the song Fade Into You. That's all I want to do. I wanted to stay here forever.
I let out another breath and I pull away from him. His hands go back to my hips, keeping me in place.
Johnny opens his mouth and leans down. I open mine and then our lips are centimeters apart.
"We should go." I whisper and I turn away. Idiot. I was scared and I didn't know why.
Johnny didn't push, instead he interlocked our pinkies and walked me back to the car.
When we were in the car he blasted the heat, I didn't realize how cold I was.
We sat for a while, not moving. Then Johnny started the car.
Now his car was parked outside my house again. The rain had stopped. "Thank you." I whisper, he looks confused.
"For what?" I stare into his eyes, "for helping me escape." Then I leave.
When I open the door I'm glad my da isn't in the kitchen.
When I get up to my room I see Shannon sitting in bed.
She looks puzzled, "is that Johnnys hoodie?" I let out a breath and realize I forgot to give it back.
I showered and changed into warm clothes. I hold Johnnys hoodie close, inhaling his scent.
For the first time in a really long time, I don't do any drugs or drink.
