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LEAVE THIS HOUSE. That was the only thought on my mind since the minute I walked in five minutes ago. Da was sitting in the kitchen nursing a bottle of bourbon, Mam was upstairs and hadn't left her room in days.
Joey was at work, Shannon in her room, my boys at nanny's. Leaving me and him downstairs alone. I was in my BCS uniform, the shirt was too big and I left one half tucked in to the skirt. My tie was tied about halfway down and it was too big.
Reason being it too big was because it was Joeys spare. I opened the fridge and took out a Diet Coke before sitting down across from the devil himself.
Pulling out my lighter and worn down pack of cigarettes I let my shoulders drop as the smoke hit my lungs.
"When's your next camogie game?" He asked, Da would sometimes come to my games. Other times he was too drunk to remember. I only played camogie for him, to make him happy. If I please him nobody gets hurt.
"Two days." I reply, ever since I was 10 I had a mantra. Something I repeated every day and it gave me something to hold on to. Get me the fuck out of Ireland.
I meditate while saying it, hoping and praying that some god out there will hear me and answer my prayers.
Nobody's home. Nobody would notice. Sneak out the door. Never turn back. It was moments like this when I thought of Darren. My brother was the bravest man I knew, I only wish he had the guts to call. I knew he would make it big one day, get some money and a partner. I hope he knows I love him.
I couldn't blame him for leaving, he knew the kids would be looked after and he made the best decision for him.
"I'll go. You better win." He grumbled, I nodded weakly. I quickly stood up and went to my room in desperate need of a fix.
I needed to stand up to him instead of complying all the time, I knew this. Yet every time I was overcome with fear that if I'm not his perfect little girl he'd kill my kids.
Pulling out my box I set up the needle and pressed it to my skin. Right before I injected it into my veins my phone started ringing.
Setting the needle against my elbow I picked up the call. It was from an unknown number. I sighed when I answered, "hello?"
Immediately I jumped and moved the phone away from my ear at the sound of screaming. "Is this Quinn Lynch! Johnny I got your girl on the phone you bitch!" The man on the phone started wheezing with laughter.
"Who the fuck is this?" I asked calmly, the voice sounded familiar but I could figure out who it was. Also Johnny? My Johnny?
"Quinny I'm insulted you don't remember my beautiful voice! It's me Gibsie! I'm drunk!" I could tell as his words were slurring.
