Ava
Houston Texas
13 August
Continued....
The one person I need to bring me a sense of understanding and peace isn't answering my calls. I haven't talked to Megan in almost two days and I'm starting to worry. There's so much going through my mind right now, I'm afraid that she's distancing herself because of the lies my father has been spreading.
I don't know if she's mad at me or if she doesn't care, what I do know is that my patience is wearing thin.
Just as I'm about to press the call button, a FaceTime from her pops up, I answer so quick she's caught off guard.
She's in the makeup chair in a trailer with a team of people around her, "Mama's? You okay?"
"Can you go somewhere private."
"I can't right now, I'm about to walk out, what's up?"
"Did you get any of my messages?"
"Some of them."
Her short answers are making me feel like she doesn't care to talk about any of this.
"Ok."
"I'll call you when I'm done."
"Right." I roll my eyes away from the camera, not expecting that she saw my reaction.
"Ava? Look at me." Her gentle yet dominant tone makes me put my face back into the camera. "Baby I'm working right now, I'll give you my attention later."
"When will you be back?"
"Tomorrow."
I think about having to deal with my own thoughts for another twenty-four hours, just that drives me crazy.
We finish up the conversation then she hangs up quickly.
Instead of leaving the house I stay home all day, either in bed or on the sofa binge watching tv shows. This time of year is always so hard for me, if anyone tells you that grief has a timeframe, they are lying.
Shara comes through the door with her makeup bag and another duffle bag.
"Let's get drinks tonight."
I shake my head no and try to drift to sleep. She shakes my leg repeatedly until I look at her.
"Come on, it'll help you feel better to get out of this house. Listen to some good music, Smell the fresh scent of Burnt Weave and Gots 2b."
If it's one thing Shara is going to do, it's make me laugh.
"Remember on your eighthteentkh birthday when your mom let us drink a glass of wine, red wine to be exact."
"Yes I remember that, then she gave me a box of condoms because she thought I was having sex."
"You were having sex."
"Babe no, that was you!"
"You right you right, we should go get a glass to toast to her."
"Plus you want to pop in on DUKE?"
"We're good now, we talked and now we're good."
