SANITY
"I've had a long day" I heard the need,
I had many desires, yet I preferred to sleep.
It's been a while, so many days, so many years,
And I've been searching HOPE, while all the reasons disappear.
I've been holding something in the name of dignity,
I've been calling somethings as an act of immaturity.
I've been assuming petty gestures as the existence of love,
I've been ignoring everything entrusting the God above.
"Bad people aren't a thing" I heard once again,
They do good and bad deeds as per their loss and gain.
I've been waiting for that ONE DAY when I'll get what I deserve,
Ignoring the, "It'll never come" blindly believing the faith I serve.
I've been following the same schedule, making same mistakes,
I'm afraid of bonds so bad, "what will I do if someday it breaks?"
I keep things off hands, and run bewildered through the maze,
Being called the fool, "I know I am" but it's fear but not my craze.
I've been watching myself turn into something I never was,
I've surrendered my hands to chains of my family and in-laws.
"I wish to do something" I've killed all my fantasies and desires,
I've been building a cocoon off my well wishers calling them liars.
"I need to take a step forward" Here we go, I'm again thinking,
I do it always, but in front of the problem I keep shrinking.
Walking off my problems, my default input calls it running away,
"I first need a break" the over influence couldn't let me think this way.
"No one shall control me" such a liar I've become nowadays,
If life's a car, forget driving, I'm not the passenger, I'm the luggage.
I'm being carried away, "you're a headache" okay I know,
And unbelievable I'm still smiling at being called a burden, oh, no!
"Such a beautiful life" I'm being called a joke cause I've been blind ,
My heart is a coward, and in this body, I'm just the mind.
Petty arguments, and fears, and this humanity stored in me,
I'm losing control of the body, signing off, THE HELPLESS SANITY.
~AGAMYA VERMA
~25th September, 2024
