Till I Die
Afraid I am, to let things go,
In no hope, there's hope, and it burns my soul.
Invisible are the threads so far,
They've loosened, they've vanished, they've broken apart.
Afraid I am, I'm still holding now nothing,
My fists are tight in hollow air, in the depressed hopes I'm knitting.
Digging the skin are my poisonous nails,
And pins in my heart, strangled in threads, I'm stitching my own tales.
There's some blood, it's so less,
Now I crave pain until I lie in the red puddle, living yet lifeless.
A corpse with just fresh open scars,
Hideous are the tears, bear what leaves behind a nasty mark.
There's some blood, I lick it off my lip,
It's salty, it's bitter, it's boiling thus it burns my entire demeanour like an acid.
In it, I tremble, and weep till I quiver,
Then I could barely stand up to smile as I'm a selfish giver.
Fight isn't with a puppet of life,
My battlefield holds me injured in front of my own "I" and malice.
Where I drop daggers in foreign feet,
I've not bowed, I've lost battle to lick my own wounds in selfish defeat.
Fight is with lies, with faces I've made,
In coting myself to decode the others, my mechanics failed to decipher my true trade.
Not anything will matter someday,
When I stop caring about my needs, but I'll be surely dead that day.
Envious I am of even myself,
Competing with thread-hung dolls I'd buy massive disgust to self.
Obsession in my eye, prisoner I see,
But you cannot off run my love, when even I suffocate without me.
Envious of everything that is better than me,
They either not be, or all the best luxuries are supposed to love to flutter about me.
A perfect painting of the heaven,
I turned the canvas to paint my hell, fascinated, back when I was eleven.
Needs, a disguise for selfishness,
I wear it with pride, I want, I'll keep, and shall make it effortless.
Begin it, I continue and only I shall end,
And then, lacking me, I'll just be the pain you could have just mend.
Needs, it's an obsession to bear,
Adorned as a tragedy craving, bleeding soul with ounces of love, queen's crown I wear.
Greed doesn't expire till I,
So, pain never ceases, cause I'll crave so much till I actually die.
~Agamya Verma
