A Recipe for Disaster

And I'll be in denial for at least a little while

I was in English class, trying to concentrate. 

The video project was due soon, but I couldn't focus on anything. I could only think of how pretty Maya was. How she was dating Graham, I mean of course she was! It-

"Focus," Ryder demanded, snapping his fingers in my face, pulling me back to reality.

"I am focused," I grumbled, pushing his fingers away from my face.

He rolled his eyes and snatched the phone out of my hands.

"What have we got done?"

I glared at him but didn't say anything, my eyes dropping back down to my feet. Not wanting to talk to him, but wanting to finish this damn project. My thoughts on Maya clouding my head. 

I wonder if Graham likes her because-

"We've barely got anything done. What the fuck, Amy, what's your problem?" He yelled, waving the phone in the air in anger as he interrupted my thoughts. 

For the first time in a while, I stayed quiet, and didn't argue with Ryder. My eyes were still glued to the ground, not arguing even though it wasn't my fault, 'cause I was videoing him!' 

"Did you hear me?" he asked, his voice laced with frustration.

"I did," I replied, my voice calm as I tried not to start a bigger fight with him.

"Then answer!"He practically yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration.

I looked up from the ground and shrugged. "I don't know."

I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.

"...You're so stupid, you can't do anything fucking right!" he grumbled, and my eyes went back to glaring at the ground.

"I'll do it later," I whispered, as I try to get Maya off my mind.

"Later? When the hell is later? We have to record ourselves for this! This is a group project!" he yelled, clearly frustrated. "What don't you understand about GROUP PROJECT? You're such a dumb bitch. What's going through your head right now? Because I SWEAR if it's still about Graham I'll fucking kill you!"

Usually, I'd get mad, yell, and maybe even punch him. But today I just wanted to go home and think. I wanted to get Maya out of my head. I wanted to think, but at the same time, I didn't want to think. 

I immediately stood up and I glanced at him, as I stated"I need to go to the washroom," walking away without waiting for a response, my thoughts consumed by Maya and Graham.

Maybe he likes her for his looks?

Maybe he doesn't like black people?

Maybe he has liked me?

Maybe Maya isn't really?

Now I sound insane.