A Recipe for Disaster

call me

Maya was just as horrible as you'd think. She was everything Graham had described: she had a pretty voice, she was pretty, and she wasn't even wearing makeup! And that made me furious. Why couldn't she just be an awful girlfriend so they'd break up? Why was it so hard to hate someone who was nice?

Maya: "Hey! You must be Amy, right? I've heard so much about you!"

She looked just as pretty as she did on FaceTime. Her eyelashes were long, and she wasn't wearing any mascara. Her hair was in a high ponytail again, which kind of stung, but hey, that's life. She had on a light purple headband and what seemed like a baggy Nirvana shirt, though I could only see part of it. She had a few pimple scars, but it didn't matter—she was still gorgeous.

Me: "Yep, I'm Amy. It's so great to finally meet you!"

Not.

Maya: "It's so great to finally FaceTime you! Graham gave me your number yesterday, but I couldn't text you because I had piano. I heard you play piano too! Is that true? I'm so glad because I've never met anyone else who plays piano!"

Me: "Yeah, I do play piano."

Maya: "Do you want to be a pianist when you're older?"

Me: "No, I think I want to be a musician."

She squealed like I'd just told her I was getting married.

Maya: "Ohh, when you become famous, I'll get to say I knew you before you were famous!"

I smiled awkwardly, not sure what to say.

Me: "Thanks... You too?"

Maya: "I guess Graham told you I'm coming for three months! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She smiled ecstatically at the camera, showing about 93% of her gums.

Me: "I am too!"

Not.

Maya: "Maybe we can all go on the Ferris wheel and stuff! Like a hangout! Or we could walk to a café together! OMG, that would be soooo cool! We could be like those trios in teen movies! Like Mean Girls, but nicer!"

Me: "Yeah, that would be cool."

Not.

Maya: "It totally would be! Maybe even a double date! Are you dating someone?"

Me: "No, not at the moment."

Maya: "Really? That sucks. I mean, I understand why you wouldn't want to date. You're still 15, and the only reason Graham and I are dating is because of true love."

I wanted to choke her. "The only reason Graham and I are dating is because of true love." It sounded so smug like she was rubbing it in my face and saying in a cheerleader-happy voice:

"You wish you were in love with Graham, you stupid bitch! But he'll never like you because he's mine! You'll die alone, forever! 'Cause you're nothing but an ugly Oreo! No one will ever like you! So suck it up and shove it in your ass. Maybe then you'll finally understand that you're unlovable and unfuckable—a package deal only stupid-ass bitches like you can get!"

I don't think she meant to sound that annoying, but to me, she was. Very, very, very annoying. So, I had to lie. I wasn't going to look pathetic in front of my one-sided enemy!

Me: "Well, I do like this guy, and I think he likes me back."

Maya: "Tell me! What's his name?!"

Me: "Ryder?"

I said it more like a question than a statement, because just then, I got what seemed like a paragraph of a text.

Maya: "Who's Ryder?"

Me: "I've gotta go, Maya."

I quickly hung up to check Ryder's text.

Ryder:

Did you submit the video?

Mrs.Monfent said if we didn't submit it by the due date we get detention

And I can't do detention

So did you submit it before the due date

it was a day after i came to your house

Me:
🖕🏽