The heartbeats

Chapter 26

>Abbie

He's been silent for ten minutes, I'm starting to lose my patience.
"Okay, Ian. I'm leaving" I inform him as I get up. He grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him.
"I'm really really sorry" he whispers as he places his hand around my hips.
I close my eyes and exhale. I put my hand on his to remove it then I leave him alone on the terrace with his apologies.

I haven't been able to contact Jasper since dinner last night. We planned to meet and talk. He didn't like the way Linda, Ian's mother, spoke to me. He got even angrier towards the end of the dinner, for absolutely no reason, and he left. Since then, no news. I just arrived at the villa and I'm heading to the kitchen. Laura and Ethan are there,
"have you heard from Jasper ?" I ask as I sit down. "No" they answer together.
"Why?" Ethan asks.
"I can't reach him" I answer.
"He might be asleep" Laura adds when James joins us.
His hair is messed up, his eyes are half-closed half-open.
"What are we eating?" He asks.
"Make whatever you want" Ethan answers before leaving the kitchen.
"Thanks man" James finishes.
Both Laura and I giggle. I'm lost in my thoughts over my cup of coffee when Kira walks in. I forgot she was there.
"Good morn–" my cell phone rings interrupting her. Unknown number,
"hello" I answer,
"hello are you Abbie Ridley?" A woman asks.
"Yes!" I answer, a little worried.
"I'm calling from the hospital to inform you that Mr. Jasper passed away last night after a motorcycle accident. My deepest sympathies" she finishes and I freeze on the spot.
I can't see clearly anymore. I can't understand what she just told me.
"Are you okay?" Someone asks me.
I don't know if it's on the phone or someone next to me.
"Abbie" she shakes me gently which allows me to wake up.
"What's wrong? What's going on?" Laura asks me taking my phone from my hands.
"He's...he...he's dead" I answer when she pick up the phone.
"Who?" She asks.
"Jas...jasper" I tell her before bursting into tears.
My hands immediately cover my face. My cries don't stop.
"It's okay, Abbie. Calm down please" Laura softens me up and I can barely breathe.
I get up abruptly but my legs don't hold me and I lose my balance when a hand grab me by my hips but I still fall to the ground. He's there, next to me, holding me in his arms. I let him hug me. My breathing quickens,
"breathe Abbie" he whispers me while caressing me, "breathe" he repeats.
"I...I can't..." I add over my tears and suffocation. "Abbie, please" Laura begs me, worry in her voice. "Ethan does something" she continues.
"Abbie, I know it's hard but listen to my voice, focus on it. Everything will be fine. You've faced worse. We're all here, by your side. You're not alone" with his words my breathing returns to normal little by little, but not my tears that flow like a swallow.
He straightens me up, wipes my eyes and cheeks, "everything will be okay, I know you'll get over this. We're all here for you. We're not going to leave you" he whispers.
I can't believe it.
"Come here" Ethan takes me back in his arms when I closed my eyes but only to take me to my room.
"Lie down, try to get some rest" he orders me before putting me on my bed.
"He's dead, Ethan" I let my tears flow, "we planned to see each other today" my words are incomprehensible,
"I knew Abbie, rest, please" he starts to worry,
"he's gone" I bring my legs to my chest, "he's gone".

I spend the whole day in my room, crying. I need a nice hot shower.
"Hi" Laura whispers as she opens the door.
I sit with my back against the headboard and my legs against my chest.
"Are you feeling better?" She asks as she approaches me.
I look at her, give her a small smile before bursting into tears again.
"Abbie" she exhales as she tries to sit next to me. "I'm going to run for you some hot water. It'll help you relax" she informs me and I nod.
I manage to stand up and join her in the bathroom. "I'll leave you alone, honey" she whispers as she pats my shoulder.
"Okay, thanks" I answer with a voice broken from crying, then I look at her with a small smile on my face.
She hasn't closed the door completely behind her. I start to undress when the memory of my parents comes to my mind. I remember that night, the mourning, the first anniversary I lived after their death, far from Ian, alone. And I fall back into tears. I'm sitting on the floor half-naked when I hear his voice,
"Abbie" he calls me out, knocking on the door.
I don't give him an answer and he comes in. He crouches down in front of me. My legs against my chest and my hands wrapped around them. He places his hand on my cheek and wipes my tears away. I don't know why I close my eyes, to feel his tenderness, or out of shame since I'm half naked. "Ian" I manage to whisper over my broken voice, he nods in response, "I'm here".
"They're all gone" I say, letting more tears escape me.
"Come here" he whispers as he stand behind me. He wraps his arms around my body.
"Everything will be okay, I promise" he promises but I can't bring myself to believe him.
How will everything be okay if I've lost everyone, and he's one of them ? He leaves me in his arm for a moment before getting up to turn off the water. He helps me up and I completely forget that I'm shirtless. My hands cover my chest as quickly as possible but the little smirk on his face tells me it's too late.
"I've seen it all before" he whispers.
"So?" I ask.
"I'll leave you alone" he finishes.
Part of me wants to let him out of my room, and another part doesn't want him to leave. I haven't felt comfort except in his arm.
"Stay, I don't want to be alone" I don't realize what comes out of my mouth until I say them, "uhh, no no, I forgot, sorry" I finish,
"don't worry about my fiancée. If you want someone by your side I can stay".
I nod, and the smile, that I love more than anything, appears on his face. That little innocent smile.

He waited for me in my room so that I could finish my long shower. I put on my pajamas and join him. "Sit down" he orders me, leaving me room in front of him.
I do what he ordered and he starts to brush my hair. I don't understand. Why is he behaving like this ? Why is he ready to stay with me ? Why didn't he try to communicate with me and inform me that he wants to break up ? Once I come back from my questions I realize that he has finished and that he is waiting for me but I don't turn around.
"Why?" I ask him in a whisper.
"Why did you do that?" My voice begins to tremble. He grabs my shoulders and forces me to turn around. He grabs my cheeks with both hands.
"It's for your own good, believe me" he answers and a thousand and one questions come to my mind.

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