Hyung's Lover boy

I love you, Jimin-shi, like my complete half.

I was standing at the door of the Parks'. I was in a dilemma—should I knock or not? I knew the Parks weren't early sleepers, but it was past four in the morning, and everyone must be asleep. I was about to slide down to sit on the floor because I had knocked twice, hoping my hyung would wake up, but also not wanting to disturb his sleep. I knew no one else would be awake at this hour. Just as I was about to sit down, the door opened, and I was shocked to see the Park's door actually open.

My eyes were fixed on the person I wanted to meet, though I didn't want to disturb him. I felt both relieved and anxious. He was two steps above me, so I had to look up at him. I could see that he hadn't been sleeping. His eyes were slightly red, showing signs of fatigue. But why couldn't he sleep? His cheeks looked dull, not as fresh and bright as they usually were, and his face was expressionless, which made me even more nervous. But today, I had to tell him. I knew he would understand. He might hate me, but he would definitely help me break the marriage issue. At least after that I would have only one problem, hyung,  one goal—hyung, just my Jimin hyung, my everything, he is the problem and he is also the solution of all my problems.

"What's wrong, Jungkook?" he asked as he stepped outside. His movements were even quieter than his voice. He said my name, which was strange because he usually didn't. What was wrong with him? Was I about to face an even worse situation?

He closed the door behind him, took a step down, and came closer to me. I stepped down two stairs as well. It wasn't that I didn't like his closeness, but it was midnight, and him coming closer to me was driving me nuts. I was scared that I might lose control and grab his cheeks in my hands, kissing him because he looked so tempting at that moment. When would this tension between us end?

"I, um, hyung..." I stammered as he came even closer, staring at me. He wanted to keep our conversation quiet, probably because everyone in the house was asleep, but he had no idea how crazy my heart was going for him. I was sweating, and there was no way I would ever be able to tell him. But if I didn't tell him now, I might never get another chance. What if he really thought I liked his sister or, worse, wanted to marry her? That thought was unbearable.

"Hyung, at the farewell party, we danced like a couple," I began. I looked up briefly, and when our eyes met, my heart skipped a beat. I was so sensitive to this man. I immediately looked down again, feeling the sweat on my skin. His face was emotionless, which made me more nervous. "Um, that night, after dancing... we kissed, didn't we?" I finished, my grip on my fists tightening.

Ten minutes passed without a word from him, making me even more anxious. I was about to finish what I had intended to say because if I didn't, I might never have the courage again. I was risking everything—my life, my sweet moments with him—because after this, he would know what those moments meant to me, even if they meant nothing to him. He would know what my stares meant whenever he caught me looking at him. He would finally know what my 'I love you's' really meant.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook—"

"I love you, hyung," I blurted out, not letting him finish. He was about to offer something I could never accept. It was his place, and I had always dreamed of him being there, so how could he suggest someone else take that place?

"Aww, hyung loves Jungkookie too," he said, smiling at me with those dried lips, hiding his own pain behind that happy face like I was a ten-year-old upset over something small, as if he was assuring me not to worry because he would handle everything for me, he need to know that I was not just a ten year old boy, I am a man that wants his man so hopelessly.

I immediately looked down, feeling completely lost. Why did this man drive me so crazy? My head hung low, and I stared at my shoes, unaware that tears had started to fall. They dropped one by one. I felt utterly defeated. My anger at my destiny grew with each passing moment. Why me? Why did destiny put me in this situation, where I had to suffer alone? No one understood how hard it was to love someone one-sidedly. Yet, this man was asking me to marry someone else. How could I be so unfortunate?

I didn't know when my hands reached for his arms. I gently pushed him against the wall, tears streaming down my face. My eyes searched his for something I knew I'd never find—the love I had for him. I was beginning to lose hope, but he was still the one. I was close enough to see his eyes widen slightly as he looked at me with pity. Pity. That made my heart sink even more. It was okay to be unloved, but to be pitied? It made me feel even smaller. From the beginning, he had only pitied me.

"I fucking love you, hyung."

I finally confessed. His expression was unreadable. My knees gave out, and my grip on him loosened. I collapsed to the cold floor, tears still flowing. My hands touched the cold ground, and I stared at it while my tears dripped down. I wished I could ease the pain I was feeling, wished everything would stop. There was a pang in my heart that wouldn't go away.

"I fucking love you, hyung, like my other half," I said, gasping through my tears, still staring at the cold floor.

"I love you, Jimin-shi, like my complete half."