F1 One Shots Based On Songs

Wish You Were Sober - SebMark

Song for this chapter: Wish You Were Sober - Conan Gray

Sebastian leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, eyes darting across the room filled with people he didn't care to know. He didn't want to be here. The music was too loud, the laughter too forced, and the smell of alcohol and sweat clung to the air in a way that made him nauseous. It wasn't his scene. Parties like this weren't his thing. He preferred quieter nights, nights where he didn't feel so suffocated.

His gaze flicked toward Mark, who was in the middle of the crowd, laughing and talking with everyone as if this was the best night of his life. Mark had always been the life of the party—charming, magnetic, the guy everyone wanted to be around. But tonight, it felt different. Tonight, Sebastian felt a growing disconnect between them that he couldn't quite shake off.

Sebastian watched as Mark downed another drink, his laughter getting louder, his movements a little looser. He was still effortlessly cool, still talking with his smooth Australian drawl that made people gravitate toward him. But it wasn't real. It wasn't the Mark Sebastian loved, not the guy he'd fallen for.

It wasn't the sober Mark.

Sebastian sighed, running a hand through his hair as he debated whether to slip out unnoticed. He hated watching this—watching Mark act like someone he wasn't, like the party-going, carefree guy who didn't have a care in the world. Sebastian knew better. He knew that Mark didn't enjoy these nights, but for some reason, he always ended up here, surrounded by people who didn't really know him.

Sebastian pushed himself off the wall, moving toward the back door, ready to leave this place behind. As he reached for the handle, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Seb," Mark slurred, his voice laced with drunken enthusiasm. "Where are you going?"

Sebastian turned around to face him, his heart sinking at the sight of Mark's flushed face and glassy eyes. "I was just about to head out," he said quietly. "This party's...not really my thing."

Mark's grin faltered for a moment, and he looked around, as if suddenly realizing the noise and chaos around them. "Yeah, it's kind of shit, huh?"

Sebastian nodded, his heart heavy. "Yeah. It is."

Mark looked at him for a long moment, something flickering in his eyes. "Come on, Seb," he said, grabbing Sebastian's hand and pulling him toward the back door. "Let's get out of here."

Sebastian allowed himself to be led out, the cool night air hitting them as they stepped into the quiet of the street. Mark stumbled a little, but he caught himself, still holding onto Sebastian's hand like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

"Where are we going?" Sebastian asked, even though he didn't really care. As long as they were away from the party, away from the noise, he was fine with wherever Mark led him.

"Doesn't matter," Mark said, pulling Sebastian toward his car parked down the street. "Let's just drive."

Sebastian hesitated for a moment. "Mark...you've been drinking. Maybe we shouldn't—"

"I'm fine," Mark interrupted, flashing a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I can handle it."

Sebastian frowned but didn't argue. He didn't want to fight, not tonight. Not when everything already felt so fragile between them.

They climbed into Mark's car, the familiar scent of leather and Mark's cologne filling the space. Sebastian settled into the passenger seat, watching as Mark fumbled with the keys before finally starting the engine.

The drive was quiet at first, the city lights passing by in a blur as they drove aimlessly through the empty streets. Mark kept one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the gear shift, his fingers occasionally drumming against the leather.

"I'm tired of this," Sebastian said softly after a long stretch of silence.

Mark glanced at him, his brows furrowing. "Tired of what?"

Sebastian swallowed, feeling the weight of everything he hadn't said pressing down on him. "Of this...you. You like this. The drinking, the parties. I don't understand it, Mark. Why do you keep doing this?"

Mark didn't answer right away, his gaze fixed on the road ahead. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, more vulnerable than Sebastian had expected. "I don't know. Maybe it's easier to act like everything's fine when you're surrounded by people who don't care if you're falling apart."

Sebastian's chest tightened. "But you don't have to act, Mark. Not with me."

Mark let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah? Well, sometimes it feels like I do."

The words hit Sebastian like a punch to the gut. He turned to look out the window, his hands gripping the edge of his seat as he tried to make sense of the conversation. This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want Mark to feel like he had to pretend with him, like he had to hide behind some facade of the carefree, reckless guy everyone thought he was.

"Stop the car," Sebastian said suddenly.

Mark blinked, confused. "What?"

"Stop the car, Mark."

Mark hesitated for a moment before pulling over to the side of the road. Sebastian unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face him, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I'm done with this," Sebastian said, his voice shaking slightly. "I'm done pretending that this is okay. I hate seeing you like this, Mark. I hate it when you drink yourself into oblivion just to escape whatever it is you're running from."

Mark's jaw clenched, and for a moment, Sebastian thought he might lash out, but instead, he just looked down at his hands, his fingers flexing and unflexing as if he was trying to find something to hold onto.

"I don't know how to be anything else," Mark admitted quietly. "This is what people expect of me. The guy who drinks too much, who parties too hard. It's easier than...than being real."

Sebastian's heart ached for him. He reached out, placing a hand on Mark's cheek, forcing him to look up. "But you don't have to be that guy, Mark. Not with me."

Mark closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into Sebastian's touch. "I know," he whispered. "But sometimes it's hard to remember that."

They sat there for a long moment, the silence between them filled with everything they hadn't said. Sebastian felt the weight of all the nights like this—nights where he'd watched Mark fall apart in front of him and hadn't known how to fix it.

"I love you," Sebastian said softly, the words slipping out before he could stop them. "I've loved you for so long, Mark. But I can't keep doing this. I need you to be present. I need you to be here with me, not drowning yourself in alcohol and parties."

Mark opened his eyes, and for the first time that night, Sebastian saw the real Mark—the man he'd fallen in love with, the man he knew was hiding behind all the bravado and recklessness.

"I love you too," Mark whispered, his voice breaking. "I'm sorry, Seb. I...I'll try. I'll be better. For you."

Sebastian leaned in, pressing his forehead against Mark's, their breaths mingling in the quiet of the car. "That's all I need," he whispered.

And in that moment, for the first time in a long time, Sebastian believed him.