F1 One Shots Based On Songs

Nicotine - Lestappen

Song for this chapter: Nicotine - Panic At The Disco 

Max Verstappen leaned against the wall of his hotel room, staring blankly out at the view of the city sprawled beneath him. The sun was setting, casting a golden hue over everything, but he barely noticed. Instead, his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that he couldn't quite make sense of.

"Cheriè?" Charles's voice broke through the fog of his thoughts, and Max turned to see his boyfriend stepping into the room, a look of concern etched on his face. "Are you okay?"

Max forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, just thinking."

Charles moved closer, his brow furrowed as he studied Max. "You've been off lately. Is it the pressure of the championship? You know I'm here for you."

Max nodded but didn't say anything. He appreciated Charles's concern, but it felt like he was caught in a storm inside his own mind, and he didn't know how to explain it. It wasn't just the pressures of racing; it was everything—his career, his relationship with Charles, and the constant feeling of being consumed by it all.

"You're sure?" Charles pressed, reaching out to cup Max's face in his hand. "You can talk to me, you know."

Max leaned into Charles's touch, feeling a flicker of warmth against the chill of his emotions. "I'm just... tired. Of everything."

Charles's expression softened, and he stepped closer, their bodies nearly touching. "I get it. It can be overwhelming. But you don't have to carry it alone."

Max closed his eyes for a moment, savouring the comfort of Charles's presence. But as soon as he opened them, the heaviness returned. "Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing control, Charles. Like I'm on a rollercoaster, and I can't get off."

"I don't want you to feel that way," Charles replied softly, brushing his thumb along Max's jawline. "I wish I could help more."

"You do help," Max insisted, his voice strained. "But it's just that... My mind can't get rid of you. Your kiss, the way you make me feel—it's intoxicating. And I can't help but feel that it's dragging me down."

Charles searched Max's eyes, confusion and hurt flickering across his face. "You think my love is a burden?"

"No, that's not what I mean!" Max said, frustration seeping into his tone. "It's just... it's overwhelming. I'm trying to focus on racing, on winning, but then I think about you and how much I need you, and it's like... it's worse than nicotine, Charlie. I can't shake you off, and I don't know if I want to."

Charles stepped back slightly, his expression a mix of hurt and understanding. "I never wanted to be something you feel you need to shake off. I thought we were in this together."

"We are! God I really am making a mess of this!" Max insisted, running a hand through his hair, trying to reign in the chaotic thoughts swirling in his mind. "I love you, Charles. But I feel like I'm losing myself in all of this. The racing, the pressure... and then you. You make me feel things I've never felt before, and it terrifies me."

Charles remained silent for a moment, processing Max's words. "Maybe we need to take a step back then. Just for a moment, to breathe. You don't have to carry all of this on your own, and you don't have to feel like you're losing yourself to love me."

Max's heart sank at the thought of stepping back. "No, please! I don't want that. I just... I need to figure this out. I don't want to lose you, but I also don't want to lose myself. I want a healthy balance, but I want that to include you."

Charles sighed, stepping closer again. "You won't lose me. I'll always be here, Max. Just... promise me you won't shut me out."

Max looked into Charles's eyes, searching for reassurance. "I promise," he said, the weight of his words hanging heavily in the air.