Phir Ek Baar

Uljhan

The morning rays were peeking in Naina and Sujal rooms. Naina was sitting in bed since night after the same dream of Rajveer waking her up. The sky is clear today just like her heart which has no burden or fear. Yesterday's rain has washed up and cleaned the wound which was stinking for years. She is not regretting pouring her heart to Sujal as is tired of pretending that she is brave and getting unaffected by him. He is not only increasing her guilt, achness but also healing the wound that she has been carrying for years. It's strange that a person who looks like her love, who is pushing to the edge, is bringing peace to mind which she is trying to find. If he really wants to help then will understand her struggle, guilt and frustration. Sujal has to accept her weariness to see him and to not go back to the past where she wants to live.

Sujal opens eyes slowly and sees a room filled with light. He gets up from bed to get ready but remembered Naina's revelation and how he looks just like Rajveer. He dragged himself for a shower and while combing froze, when saw his face in the mirror. He is trying to gather strength to face her. What would he say, behave in front of her or should even show his face. He can't even imagine how much it hurts to see him from all these five months.

Sujal took his jacket from bed and went outside. He has decided to at least support Naina and her life. The conditions they are in are strange and complex. It needs to be handled carefully but what will do for that is not sure. He still can't leave her alone in this but needs to go to reception to clear the bill.

Sujal lightly knocked on the door and saw Naina's pale face when it opened. Their eyes met and both can see questions in them. Naina wanted to know if he had understood what she told him yesterday. While Sujal was looking for a hope that she would accept him who he is and his support. Naina looked down and said hesitatingly

Naina : "Thanks for bringing me here when I passed out. (Sujal was glancing at her. She looks at him for a few seconds) Staff nae bataya ki aap mujhe..... (He can see her discomfort) I should have controlled my emotions. The doctor said that I am fine. Can we leave".

Sujal (in low voice) : "Naina, aap ko thanks ya sorry bolne ki koi zaroorat nahi hain. I should say thanks for sharing your pain and struggles with me. (Naina looks at him with moist eyes) I am sorry for forcing you and poking it ".

Naina nodded and started moving towards the parking lot. Sujal cursed himself for not saying anything about being a spitting image of Rajveer. Naina was sad as he just ignored one of the most important thing. Sujal has guessed that she didn't sleep the whole night as eyes and face were looking tired. He took long strides to walk with her.

Sujal (in a concerned voice) : "Naina, breakfast toh kar lo".

Naina (kept looking in front and said) : "Mujhe bhuk nahi hain. Aap ko karna hain, toh main car mae wait kar leti hu".

Sujal can feel that she is avoiding spending time with him.

Sujal : "Mujhe bhi nahi hain. Chalo wapas chalte hain".

The whole journey, no one spoke and there was a weird silence between them. Naina was thinking that what if he got scared of what has shared with him and maybe wants to stay away.

Naina (in her mind) : "Thik hi toh hain Naina. Tu kya expect kar rahi thi woh tujhse abh bhi friendship rakhenge. Kon aisi ladki se baat karega jisne apne mentor ko goli mari, jo selfish aur rude hain. Jo aise insan se pyar karti hain jo inki tarah dikhate hain".

Sujal was trying to find the words to speak as was still in shock.

Sujal (in his mind) : "Kya bolu ise kuch samajh nahi aa raha. Main Rajveer jaise kaise dikh sakta hu. Photo mangu unki, nahi yaar...Bura lag gaya toh.....Par ek baar dekhna chaata hu....Kaise bolu ki mujhe kuch samay chaiye".