𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 | adrien agreste.

chapter 19

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chapter nineteen : entering his world.
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(not proof read!)
...
"love always finds a way it's true,
and i love you, ma belle evangeline."
...

adrien's pov —

at what price does love and death cost?

he never meant for it to be this way. he never wanted to hurt you. there was just something about you, that was so... alluring, in all forms good and bad. you were a new face, something interesting, a pop of colour to paris' normal routine. (although it was nothing mundane, it surely was the same everyday for him.)

ever since the death of... her, adrien yearned to be happy again. after countless of nights beating himself up, words of self hatred were the only thing that spewed out his mouth. he thought that maybe— just maybe— he can finally be happy again.

that he wouldn't feel guilty of breathing, of being able to enjoy eating with his friends at school, for being able to see the beautiful sky, to still be chat noir.

highschool years were said to be the most memorable years for teenagers, where youths grow up into adolescences— a coming of age where things suddenly start making sense.

he should've known from the start that being chat noir wasn't something to take lightly or for fun. lives were at the palm of his hands, and he had to grow up and learn how to protect them.

but who would protect him?

it was out of adrien's character to go from
someone who yearned for freedom— to be out and go to school all his life, to a person who never wanted to step foot outside again. ever since that night, he changed.

although now he was able to suppress those grieving feelings, it still carried with him every single day.

he wasn't the same adrien everyone once knew. his eyes were also unfocused, dazing off. his shiny emerald eyes were hollow and dark. 

he was empty. almost robot-like.

he had stopped coming to school for a couple months. he couldn't bare to be there. he didn't want to be bombarded with pity, asking if he was okay, and what happened.

because if he did, he wouldn't be able to keep his cool. he knew he would fall and break right there if anyone where to mention your name.

he would never forget the face of his partner when she had used her miraculous ladybug, yet you remained lifeless on the ground. it couldn't save her. the only thing it did, was brainwash people into thinking you passed away by getting hit by a car.

he devoted most of his time to modelling and doing extracurriculars— he couldn't sleep because every time he did, he'd get nightmares replaying your death again and again in his head.

he was in shambles, his world ended then and there, and didn't know how to pick up the pieces of finding his motivation for living.

first his mom, then the love of his life.

when will he ever be able to enjoy life? to be carefree?

it only became bearable when the nightmares began to be less haunting and bloody— and more sentimental.

he would have dreams of you consoling him, kissing his head and rubbing his back, while he screamed and cried in the nape of your neck, continuously apologizing.

after a year and a half, things were becoming easier. he was able to live with himself, and the heavy guilt and painful memories were slowly being replaced by good ones instead.

he was finally able to move on.

that is, until he meet you, y/n l/n.

how could it be that the girl who died beneath him, be the same girl that's been right in front of him? her frail pale body that he watched bounce on the ground in ways he thought wasn't possible. he watched in horror as the girl who was full of colour, desaturate, and crumble away. he wasn't aware that a person could lose colour in their face that fast.

the woman who he killed came back to life. was it karma, did he not repent, grieve, and suffer enough? he'd been tormented through and through, yet the universe still couldn't forgive him so they brought you back to him.

"chat noir... you finally... came to me." you mumbled.

he watched you fell limp in front of him.

beneath the beautifully taunting eiffel tower, it felt as though the world around him faded into darkness, leaving only the dim moon to cast its soft, lonely spotlight upon you.

it felt all too similar to a scary image that took years to erase. 

he ran to you in worry, the world was crashing down under him.

'i don't want to repeat the same mistakes' he pleaded in his mind. kneeling down towards you, he pulled your cold body into his arms, holding you close. his eyes frantically scanned your face, your limbs, every inch of you, desperate to assure himself that you were okay.

"evangeline and chat n... against the world..." his breath hitched, eyes darkening. "what?" he mumbled. "how did you know that?" his grip tightened as his anxiety and anger washed over him. the pent up emotions he had tried so hard to conceal, began to reveal themselves after hearing the name he hated so much.

"how do you know who evangeline is?" he frantically asked, his voice trembling. "who are you y/n?" he watched as your calm face began to slip a tear, your faint voice whispering, "its me mon petit chat noir... its me evangeline."

he knew you were different,

it was the whole reason why he couldn't be your friend anymore.

before he knew it, he started caring about you, in the same way that he did with evangeline. it scared him how much you reminded him of her, and maybe that's why he felt inclined to take care of you. having a fear of the eiffel tower? similar mannerisms? he even remembered the times you said things exactly the same as her.

whatever it was, he knew he had to stop it. he couldn't allow himself to make the same mistakes he did previously.

adrien sat in the corner of his room, his head tucked in his knees. "adrien.." plagged croaked flying beside him. "it all makes sense now plagg. i did this to myself. i moved on too quickly and now the universe is haunting me! surely!" he cried out, gripping his head in anger.

plagg watched adrien tremble and fall a part infront of him. "her fear of the eiffel tower.. the things she says.. her mannerisms.. it's all the same. how could i let myself.. fall into the same.. trap? the same.. girl?" he cried grabbing a nearby book from his shelf and slamming it on the floor.

"reincarnation.. works in mysterious ways.. bitter mysterious ways.." plagg whispers to himself as he flew on top of adrien's arms, attempting to give him some sort of comfort.