A Web of Love and Deceit

Confusion

Ram was lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. It wasn't the kind of simple confusion, like whether to push Shivada into the local canal or a dry pit. No, this was far more complicated, a confusion that rivaled the mind-boggling question of how astronauts manage to poop in space. This was different—something deeper, and unsettling. And the source of his confusion? He was sitting right there in the dorm, laughing at a horrible joke on his phone, his smile as radiant as Shivada had described. That smile, Ram thought. That damn beautiful smile.

Shiva lifted his head, catching Ram staring. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Nothing," Ram quickly replied, shaking his head. He felt a knot tightening in his chest and got up, making his way to the balcony. The cool evening air didn't help clear his mind like he'd hoped.

Shiva stood up too, brushing his pants. "I'm leaving."

Ram turned, surprised. "Why so soon?"

Shiva shrugged, a playful smirk still lingering. "You've been stuck in your own world for a while. I didn't want to interrupt the deep thought process." He gave a mock salute and walked towards the door.

Ram watched him leave, the door closing with a soft click, but it felt louder in his head. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration bubbling up. Since when had these thoughts started swirling around in his mind? Was it after Shiva's confession about being gay? Or was it that fight they'd had? Or was it when Henry made that offhand comment that made him see things differently?

Ram leaned against the balcony railing, staring into the distance, trying to untangle the mess inside him. His head told him nothing had changed, but his heart whispered otherwise.

It all started four months ago, when Shiva, with a calm resolve, revealed to Ram that he was gay. Ram, being the loyal friend and well-meaning busybody he was, immediately took it upon himself to find cute gay guys for Shiva to date. Shiva initially protested, insisting that he wasn't looking for a relationship. But Ram, in his ever-persistent way, continued to pester until Shiva finally relented and agreed to go on a date with Henry—the guy from the room opposite theirs.

The date came and went. When Shiva returned, something was off. He wasn't his usual self—quieter, distant, his usual radiant smile nowhere to be found. Ram, ever the instigator, couldn't resist.

"So, how did it go? Was it awkward? Did he at least have decent taste in food? C'mon, man, tell me!" Ram threw question after question at Shiva, who only responded with vague dismissals.

Ram, however, was not one to be easily deterred. "Don't worry about it," he said with a grin, "I'll find someone better for you. There are plenty of cute guys out there! We'll get you a date with—"

"Would you just shut up?" Shiva's sudden shout hit Ram like a sledgehammer. Ram blinked, startled, as Shiva's face twisted with frustration, his voice shaking. "What is your problem, Ram? Do you think I'm so desperate that I'll just spread my legs for anyone you throw at me? I don't want anyone, okay? Or is this all about you not being comfortable around me anymore? You just want me to be with someone else so you don't have to deal with the fact that I'm still here, right next to you!"

Ram stood frozen, guilt flooding through him. He opened his mouth to apologize, to explain, but the words felt hollow. "Shiva, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry—"

"Forget it, I am elder to you Ram, Respect me." Shiva snapped, his voice cracking. 

The trembling in Shiva's shoulders only made Ram's chest tighten further. "Shiva, I—" he started, but his voice faltered, not sure what to say or how to say it.